Tamara Douglass has no intention of calling home to Indianapolis today. She will be in Cincinnati practicing with the Bearcats women's basketball team, and it will be her first Thanksgiving away from her daughter, Khrisma. Douglass doesn't want to hear everyone laughing and having a good time without her.

Tamara Douglass carries a photo of daughter Khrisma on her key ring. (Michael E. Keating photos) | ZOOM |

        “Too hard,” she said.

        UC's starting center is two games into her senior season and less than seven months from graduating.

        Khrisma, who turned 2 in August, lives in Indianapolis with Douglass' mother, Toni, and is cared for during the day by Douglass' grandmother, Canary.

        One day, Douglass hopes to sit down with her child and tell her all about the first few years of Khrisma's life.

        It will be a story of second chances and sacrifice. Of good times and tough times. Of difficult decisions and long-range plans.

        Only because of the support of her family was Douglass able to return to UC after 1 1/2 years away from the basketball program and continue her classes and athletic career.

        The scholarship allows her to attend college for free. A degree will allow her to better provide for her child.

        This is what she can't wait to explain to Khrisma.

        “I hope she's not mad about it,” Douglass said. “That's the one thing I fear. What if she's mad once she finds out that I was away from her?”
        The conversation will go something like this:

| ZOOM |

        I never expected this to happen, “Kizzy.” I was in my second year playing basketball for Cincinnati when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, of course. So scared that when I went home for Christmas, I couldn't tell my mommy. I waited until I got back to Cincinnati, then I called her a few days later.

        She was angry, hurt, disappointed. So was my coach, Laurie Pirtle.

        Mommy wanted me to stay in school until June. By March, I was

        miserable. I played only 11 games for the team that season, and I left school in the spring. I worked third shift at Meijer's in Indianapolis as a cashier. I didn't think I would ever play basketball again.

        You were born Aug.19, 1999, two days before my mommy's birthday. I stopped working. I didn't know what our future held.

        In February of 2000, I went to see UC's last regular-season game. It was Senior Night against Louisville. Mike Bradbury, one of the assistant coaches, asked me what I had been doing, and would I consider coming back to play. After the season, I went to Cincinnati to meet with Coach Pirtle. She told me she would give me a second chance but that she would be watching closely. She wanted me to come to Cincinnati in June to attend summer school and get back in the flow academically and in shape physically.

        I wanted to provide for you. So I thought I had better take this opportunity to get my degree.

        I was dead set on bringing you with me. I figured you could go to day care, and I'd pick you up at the end of the day. But what if you got sick? Could I just miss classes and practices?

        My mommy offered to help. So did my granny, who was in her mid-70s. Mommy was a full-time driver examiner for the state of Indiana. She would drop you off at Granny's every morning and pick you up when she got off work. We were all worried, because for most of your first six months, you wouldn't go to anyone without crying.

        You know what Mommy and Granny said? That you figured out all by yourself that you'd have to deal with them once I went back to school, and you decided to make the best of it.

        I have to tell you, it was hard. I had been with you every day since you were born. At first, I would wake up in the middle of the night expecting to see you. You weren't even 1, and I worried you'd forget me. I called Granny every day and Mommy every night to see how you were doing. I tried to come home every other weekend.

        My junior year, I started every game for the basketball team and averaged 9.5 points and 6.8 rebounds. I was our third-leading scorer and our best rebounder. I appreciated my scholarship, my teammates and coaches, and my professors more than ever. Before you were born, my grades were mostly C's with a few D's. When I went back to school, I made mostly A's with a few B's.

        As you got older, being away became both easier and harder. You were a happy child staying with your granny every day. And when I called on the phone, you were able to say words to me. By my senior year, you were saying, “I love you.”

        At the same time, whenever I got home to visit, leaving was so hard. I couldn't pack my bags in front of you. When I was saying goodbye, you would get your shoes and coat and grab onto me tightly and say you were coming with me. Those were some of the worst times. I would call before the car pulled out of the driveway to see if you stopped crying. If only you knew how much it hurt.

        I carried a key chain with your picture and had more pictures on my locker. For Christmas 2000, my friend, Katrina Merriweather, who was my teammate then, gave me a ring with your birthstone. I wore that all the time, too.

        There was a basketball player on the men's team named Immanuel McElroy. He and his wife had two adorable kids, one close to your age. I would play with them sometimes, but I couldn't when I hadn't seen you for a while. It made me sad because I missed you so much.

        I want you to understand something: You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I do not regret for one second having you. Because of you, I learned to give it my all every day, no matter what I was doing.

        I always thought I was a role model. My daddy died when I was 7, and here I was, a 6-foot-2 girl from a single-parent home in Indy with a basketball scholarship. I also thought of myself as a role model after I had you.

        When I was a senior at Cincinnati, we went to Washington Park Demonstration School as part of “Make a Difference Day.” There was a young girl who told a social worker she needed a mentor. I said I would do it, and I went to the school every Tuesday morning. Someone from the school sent a letter to people at UC that said, “... One of our sixth-grade girls proudly announced to her classmates, and later to her father and me, that she now wants to attend college. She said she changed her mind after talking to Tammy Douglass. Before her conversation, she never dreamed of college.”

        So you see, Khrisma, I will always owe a lot to my mommy, granny and Coach Pirtle. Actually, we will always owe them.

        The story is unfinished.

        Douglass, a criminal justice major, expects to receive her degree June 7 and have Khrisma living with her for good starting the next day.

        “She's handled it well,” Toni Douglass said. “I taught all my kids to be strong in whatever you do; don't quit, don't give up. You can fight it and win. It might take a little bit longer, you might have a harder fight, but as long as you do what's right, something good will come out of it.

        Tamara Douglass, 22, would be the first in her family to graduate from a four-year university. Then she wants to attend graduate school, probably at UC. She would love to work as a Drug Enforcement Agency officer. If that's too difficult with a child, she wants to be a corrections officer.

        “This is the best thing that ever happened to Tammy Douglass,” Pirtle said. “That doesn't mean it's good for everybody. This is not easy. She has made the best of it. Hopefully, it's showing people how difficult it is and that's not the way you want to go.

        “There are stories out there that are like this. The ending's different. This is a real exceptional situation. Her daughter's going to be proud of her.”

For UC's Douglass, basketball eases separation from child Bearcats search for confidence XU-UC volleyball showdown prelude to NCAA tourney

Bengals' Anderson feeds spirit of generosity
Bengals receivers may play through injuries
Williams may return Sunday
Browns suspend Warren, Sellers for Bengals game
Browns seek answer to stopping Dillon
Browns rookie wins AFC honor
Bengals-Browns injury report
PREP FOOTBALL PAGE
Willingham, Linz form a 1-2 punch for St. X
St. X loses bid to shift game time
Crosby returns as Mariemont coach
Ex-Xavier star charged with robbery
Size, athleticism mark XU's signees
Three sign with Xavier women's team
Plenty of tickets for Missouri game
No. 5 Missouri nips Iowa; Xavier next
Prosser, Wake Forest make NIT semifinals
Top 25 basketball roundup
Major College Basketball Scores
XU-UC volleyball showdown prelude to NCAA tourney
BCS, titles to be sorted out this weekend
Sports events this week