WASHINGTON -- Following are excerpts of the testimony of Monica Lewinsky, who appeared before the grand jury convened by the independent counsel on Aug. 6 and Aug. 20, the second time three days after President Clinton had testified.
REGARDING THE JURORS
THE WITNESS: Can you guys call me Monica? Are they allowed to call me Monica instead of Ms. Lewinsky? I was just -- THE FOREPERSON: If you say so. THE WITNESS:Okay
EMMICK:
Sure. THE WITNESS: I'm just 25. Please. A JUROR: But you'll always be Ms. Lewinsky, whether you're 25 or 28 or -- THE WITNESS: Not if I get married.
ROMANCE
A JUROR: OK. Your relationship with the president, did your mother at any time try to discourage the relationship?
THE WITNESS: Oh, yes.
A JUROR: Well, what kept it going? I mean, what kept it -- you keeping it active or whatever?
THE WITNESS: I fell in love.
A JUROR: I beg your pardon? I couldn't hear you.
THE WITNESS: I fell in love.
A JUROR: When you look at it now, was it love or a sexual obsession? THE WITNESS: More love with a little hit of obsession. But definitely love.
A JUROR: Did you think that the president was in love with you also?
THE WITNESS: There was an occasion when I left the White House and I was pretty stunned at how I felt because I did think that.
A JUROR: You did?
MICHAEL EMMICK (one of the Starr prosecutors): Do you remember the date?
THE WITNESS: It was July 4, 1997.
A JUROR: Were you aware that he was having problems in his marriage? Did this ever spill over in the times that you were together? Did you get a feeling that something was not right, that --
(An exchange regarding her answer has been deleted by the house judiciary committee.)
A JUROR: And today, Monica, do you still love the president? THE WITNESS: Before Monday, I would have said yea.
A JUROR: So then it is no?
THE WITNESS: I don't know how I feel right now.
EMMICK: A question in the front?
A JUROR: I guess I would like to know what happened Monday to make you just by Thursday change your mind so completely.
THE WITNESS: I don't think it's so much changed my mind. I think -- it's -- it was very painful for me to watch his speech on Monday night. I -- it's -- it's hard for me to feel that he has characterized this relationship as a service contract and that that was never something that I ever thought it was. And --
A JUROR: I'm sorry, you lost me already.
THE WITNESS: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's -- from my understanding about what he testified to on Monday, not -- just from the press accounts, is that this was a -- that this was a service contract, that all I did was perform oral sex on him and that that's all that this relationship was. And it was a lot more than that to me and I thought it was a lot more than that.
And I think I felt -- I was hurt that -- that he didn't even -- sort of acknowledge me in his remarks. And even also -- I mean, that has to do with directly with me, but I thought he should have acknowledged all the other people that have gone through a lot of pain for seven months.
I feel very responsible for a lot of what's happened, you know, in the seven months, hut I tried -- I tried very hard to do what I could to not -- to not hurt him. I'm still not answering your question.
A JUROR: Well, let's -- you said the relationship was more than oral sex. I mean, it wasn't like you went out on dates or anything like that like normal people, so what more was it?
THE WITNESS: Oh, we spent hours on the phone talking. It was emotional. A JUROR: Phone sex?
THE WITNESS: Not always. On a few occasions. I mean, we were talking. I mean, interacting. I mean, talking about what we were thinking and feeling and doing and laughing.
We were very affectionate, even when -- after he broke the relationship off in May, I mean, when I'd go to visit with him, we'd -- you know, we'd hug each other a lot. You know, he always used to like to stroke my hair. He -- we'd hold hands. We'd smile a lot. We discussed a variety -- you know, a wide range of things.
So, I mean, it was -- there was a real component of a relationship to it and I just -- I thought he had a beautiful soul. I just thought he was just this incredible person and when I looked at him I saw a little boy and -- I don't know what the truth is any more.
And that's, I think, what I took away on Monday, was that I didn't know what the truth was. And so how could I know the truth of my love for someone if it was based on him being an actor.
HER MEMORY
Q: How is it that you remember all the events in such detail over really sort of what is a few years?
A. I've always been a date-oriented person and I had a -- probably a habit of circling dates in my Filofax when I either talked to the president -- or saw him.
Q: And did you provide those Filofax sheets to the Office of Independent Counsel?
A. Yes.
Q: And did that assist you in remembering the dates?
A. Yes, it did.
Q: And were these encounters important to you?
A. Very.
Continued...
