SAN DIEGO -
Whatever happens on Nov. 5, the Republican Party has already defeated one longtime opponent during their 1996 convention: The liberal media.
Nightline anchor Ted Koppel packed his hair spray and left in a snit.
Unable to goad the party into another Pat Buchanan ''religious war'' over abortion, media critics accused the party of censoring dissent.
Network bosses threatened to reduce their grudging coverage because the convention was too ''orchestrated.''
That's the music of sore losers who have discovered that what goes around comes around.
T-shirts here feature Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings as ''Team Clinton.'' The must-have button in 1992 was, ''Annoy the media, elect Bush.'' This year, Republicans have decided to annoy the media whether Bob Dole gets elected or not.
It's only fair. The media have been annoying Republicans since Richard Nixon pitched a fit about getting kicked around. This year, CBS cut away for ads during the video tribute to Ronald Reagan, Tom Brokaw interrupted to dredge up Iran-Contra, and Bryant Gumbel dishonestly made it sound as if the convention's most wildly popular speaker, Colin Powell, was nearly jeered off the speaker's platform.
But this time Republicans were ready for payback time.
They evaded network flak by working a ''radio row'' of talk shows that were lined up like a kamikaze squadron on a carrier deck.
They bypassed the pundit filters by going directly to local TV feeds or CNN, where Republican senators and governors waited for interview handouts like a celebrity soup line.
They hustled speakers through the spotlight faster than an instant oil change, giving media analysts no time to tell viewers what they really meant. The Dole-Kempernaut rolled so fast, ''Team Clinton'' couldn't yank the steering wheel into their favorite ditch on the ''far right.''
And they used TV's own talk-show - MTV tactics to contrast the World War II-era candidate with a new generation of stars, such as Ohio's Rep. Rob Portman, Colin Powell, Gov. Christie Whitman, former Cincinnati Mayor Ken Blackwell, Sen. John McCain, Ohio Gov. George Voinovich, keynoter Susan Molinari, Rep. J.C. Watts and Gov. George Bush.
For the record: Despite the prime-time show of inclusion and diversity, this is still a party of mostly middle-aged, paunchy white guys who drive your father's Oldsmobile.
But the GOP got its message across: Minorities, women, even dissent on abortion, are welcome. Some in the crowd still need to buy a vowel or two, but most in the party have solved the puzzle: ''Help wanted: apply within, regardless of race, religion or gender.''
At the very least, the party deserves a high-five for finally getting a clue, not scorn for failing to look like the Rainbow Coalition overnight.
Mediacrats, though, still don't get it: The convention is not their party.
After covering my first one, though, I can see why it's easy to make that mistake.
We outnumbered delegates eight to one. The modern convention is so hard-wired for broadcast you half expect each delegate to come equipped with satellite locater chips surgically implanted. Delegates beg autographs from Larry King, and even lowly print journalists are treated like guests of honor at parties where sound bites flow nearly as fast as free rocket-fuel-and-tonic.
There are so many freebies here, it's amazing more reporters aren't arrested for shoplifting when they get home and forget to kick the habit of walking away with anything that isn't bolted to the floor. No wonder the press clogs the arteries of the convention floor, shoving and shouting as if covering a convention would be a lot easier without all those delegates in the way.
Less coverage? ''Fine with me,'' said Ohio delegation co-chair and state Senate president Stanley Aronoff. ''Maybe I won't get hit in the head with those cameras.''
He has a point. The symbiotic, love-hate relationship is bad for both. Republicans poor-mouth the press and shamelessly grovel for coverage in the same breath. Mediacrats wax cynical and superior about lobbyists while swilling free booze at corporate parties.
It's an Olympic hypocrita-thon. Both lose.
I asked former Reagan media magician Michael Deaver about network threats to reduce coverage. ''If television makes that decision, it's based on commercial reasons. Ted (Koppel) told me, 'We got better ratings from reruns of ER.' So what's that say about their bottom line? To give us one hour for four days every four years - is that too much?
''Of course it's scripted. American viewers are all sitting there with their clickers in their hands. We've got to keep interest to keep people watching.''
Why is that news to the media?
Sure, it's orchestrated. But American voters are smart enough to decide for themselves if they like the tune. Voters deserve more direct coverage to show and report each party's party, without all the dizzying spin.
If that annoys some of us in the media, too bad. Westchester delegate Gary Cates has no sympathy: ''I'd like to find a media convention and go there with seven or eight Republicans for every one of them, and see how they like that.''
I can see the headlines now: ''Press gagged by Republicans.''
