Ben Franklin said ''the only things certain in life are death and taxes.'' An updated 1990s version would read: ''death and taxes - and corrupt presidents who use tax audits to scare their enemies half to death.''
Now that long-secret Watergate tapes are shining a light on the dark side of President Nixon again, we can eavesdrop on this conversation with aide John Ehrlichman: ''John, we have the power. Are we using it to investigate ... the Jews - you know, that are stealing in every direction? Are we going after their tax returns? I can only hope that we're doing a little persecuting.''
Griping to Bob Haldeman, Mr. Nixon claimed he was audited after he lost the 1960 election to President Kennedy. ''Bob, you remember when Kennedy ordered them to go after me and that goddamned house I bought. Huh!''
It was not pure paranoia. Evidence has surfaced, like toxic waste in groundwater, that JFK used fear and loathing of the IRS as a political weapon.
Author David Burnham, who wrote about the IRS in A Law Unto Itself, sent the Washington Post a letter in January, citing documents that show how JFK personally requested an ''aggressive program'' to audit ''extremist organizations'' - which turned out to be groups that were extremely critical of the Kennedys.
And Mr. Burnham added, ''It appears, in fact, that President Franklin D. Roosevelt may have been the champion abuser. He used the IRS to investigate numerous political opponents ... ''
So Nixon learned it from JFK, who learned it from FDR, who probably got it from FBI supersnoop J. Edgar Hoover.
The IRS doberman was leashed after Watergate. But now President Clinton is teaching the old dog new tricks.
Rep. Rob Portman's National Commission on the IRS is looking into complaints that tax audits are being used to target conservative critics of President Clinton, such as the Heritage Foundation, the American Spectator and others.
It's no surprise. Travelgate showed how top Clinton officials threatened to use the IRS to attack White House Travel Office employees if the FBI did not act fast enough to take their jobs for Clinton cronies. The Travel Office workers were fired, smeared by the FBI - and then audited by the IRS.
Back to Mr. Burnham's letter: ''The lesson here is not that the Kennedy IRS was unusual. Quite the contrary, the lesson to be learned is how so many sitting presidents have persuaded federal investigative agencies to advance their personal political agendas.''
Thomas Reeves puts it more bluntly: ''These are ruthless politicians. They are still doing it.''
Mr. Reeves is the author of several books, including biographies about JFK (A Question of Character) and Sen. Joseph McCarthy. He has been teaching American history at the University of Wisconsin Parkside Campus for 25 years.
''People are so cynical about politicians - and they have every right to be,'' he said. ''These are bad times for politics, like the 20s. We have a president we cannot believe.''
Mr. Reeves' latest book, Empty Church, is about another kind of belief: a national shortage of spiritual faith.
But maybe there is a link.
''Hard times bring out religious faith. During prosperity and peace, people don't turn to eternal things,'' Mr. Reeves said. ''Baby-boomers are too worried about wrinkles.''
But apparently, they are not too worried by President Clinton's dirty laundry list of scandals: ''What's happening today is an unprecedented time of peace and prosperity,'' Mr. Reeves repeated. ''That covers up all kinds of things.''
It's not a flattering picture. It shows people with shiny new toys and vacant eyes - too self-centered to care about corrupt leaders, too busy enjoying our plastic prosperity to appreciate the value of something TV ads can't offer: faith.
At the risk of sermonizing this Sunday, I'd say it suggests that people without faith should not be surprised to have leaders without morals. Those who see corruption and say ''it doesn't matter'' are really saying ''nothing matters - except me.''
Mr. Reeves, 60, knows history. And he predicts a reckoning. ''We don't know enough yet, but what we do know suggests that this administration might rival Harding and Grant, and may be the most corrupt in history.
''The evidence should be coming soon from (Whitewater prosecutor) Ken Starr,'' he said. ''But because of the ideological bias of the media, a lot has not been told and the American people don't really know who is in the White House. When they do find out, there will be a lot of consternation.''
I hope he's right. But those 20-year-old tapes of President Nixon seem to cause more ''consternation'' than IRS abuse and FBI snooping by President Clinton. When corruption seems as certain as death and taxes, it goes unnoticed. Like an empty church.
Peter Bronson is editorial page editor of The Enquirer. If you have questions or comments, call 768-8301, or write to 312 Elm Street, Cincinnati, Ohio 45202.
