They say Jimmy Hoffa is buried in the end zone of Giants Stadium in New Jersey. If local Republicans don't wise up, they could wind up buried in an elephant's graveyard at the 50-yard line of the new Bengals stadium.
By this time next year, the youngest, least experienced and most appointed member of the 100 percent white-male-Republican Hamilton County Commission will run for re-election. And unless everyone forgives and forgets the embarrassing stadium cost by then, Tom Neyer could face voters waving pitchforks and torches like the villagers outside Dr. Frankenstein's castle.
First, there's that lease. It looks like the county sold Manhattan to the Bengals for beads, rhinestones and firewater.
The Bengals' rent starts at $1.7 million - then goes down each year to $900,000 in the ninth year. After that, they pay no rent at all until 2026. Zero.
And for the first 20 home games, the county guarantees sell-outs. If the fans don't show up, the taxpayers will buy leftover tickets anyway.
For this, the Bengals agreed to take all the cash from tickets, advertising, broadcast rights, concessions and parking.
And if that doesn't torque-off voters, there's the stadium cost, which started at $270 million and swelled to $400 million. If Democrats have "tax and spend" disease, Republicans must get elephantiasis of the budget. They talk about cutting big government - but when they get behind the wheel of the Governaut they gas it up on high-octane taxes, round up their friends and take a road trip to Fat City.
Sometimes it's hard to tell who's steering.
"Stu Dornette is a very able and very capable attorney who has done a very good job representing the Bengals during the stadium negotiations," said Commissioner John Dowlin.
"I don't think there was anything comfy or cozy," said Hamilton County Republican Chairman Mike Allen.
But in addition to being the Bengals' lawyer and negotiator, Mr. Dornette is also a leader in the Republican Party, a strategic genius who helps screen candidates and plan campaigns.
That means he has more than marginal influence over the future of Republican politicians - such as the entire Hamilton County Commission.
The image of our elected officials negotiating a Bengals lease across the table from a key member of their own party should make taxpayers sweat dollar-signs.
And the Bengals aren't the only ones who got a heckuva ride on the stadium road trip. The biggest part of the stadium iceberg is submerged - $300 million or more in bond interest that nearly doubles the cost to taxpayers over 20 years.
But Bond World is complicated and boring, so most of us were paying no attention while the county gave Peck Shaffer & Williams the job of bond counsel, worth at least $331,000, based on fees pegged to the historic size of the debt.
By pure coincidence (or not), one of the Cincinnati firm's partners is H.C. "Buck" Niehoff - chairman of the Hamilton County Republican Finance Committee.
That makes him the go-to guy in charge of raising and handing out campaign cash to Republican candidates - such as Hamilton County commissioners.
Peck-Shaffer is the county's traditional bond counsel, and traditionally works hand-in-taxpayer-pocket with Seasongood & Mayer - which Bond World outsiders say "owns" the Cincinnati market.
On Wednesday, county commissioners announced in a flurry of lame explanations that Seasongood & Mayer's big dog in the fight, Merrill Lynch & Co., had won 75 percent of the $322.7 million bond sale, although two other companies offered lower prices to taxpayers. Because the county did not seek competitive bids and chose to negotiate the bond deal, "You'll never perfectly know you got the best rate," a consultant acknowledged.
Is all this evidence of a sinister plot?
Nah. But from certain angles, in the right dim light, it does bear a strong resemblance.
I think it's just a symptom of what I call "Palzheimer's disease" - when one-party rule gets so old it forgets about the voters. Whatever it is, unless they snap out of it, Republicans could get forked and torched in 1998.
And that would turn loose the Frankenstein Democrats who have made Cincinnati City Council a regional joke:
Q. How many city council members does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They'd rather stay in the dark.
If I were King of Hamilton County, I'd add two seats to the county commission pronto, in city districts that would provide a good chance of electing a minority, a woman or a couple of responsible Democrats - if any can be found.
That would provide someone to keep an eye on the too-cozy county club, and give us a balanced, regional government to get things done while the Big Top deflates on the City Hall circus.
Republicans can look at it this way: Share a little power, or someone could come along and take it away.
Ask Jimmy Hoffa.
Peter Bronson is editorial page editor of The Enquirer. If you have questions or comments, call 768-8301, or write to 312 Elm Street, Cincinnati, Ohio 45202.
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