BY PETER BRONSON
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Trapped in a small room as bankers and lawyers keep handing you papers to sign from an endless supply of unexpected "closing costs," a sudden insight hits you like a speeding pickup: So this is how roadkill must feel when the vultures circle lower and the crows hop in for a closer look.
Now, imagine buying something bigger than a home: a $400 million stadium.
Here's a $1,874 bill for sandwiches, and $287 for pizzas, to feed all those planners who spend your money in endless meetings. Here's one for consultants who fly in to spend some more: $600,000.
The construction company needs $4.3 million, right away.
The newspaper (yes, this one) has billed you for $3,704 for legal ads.
Asbestos removal will cost about $2,000 -- but consulting on asbestos removal is $22,640. Go figure.
If all these numbers are making you dizzy, hang on. You're not done yet, Mr. and Mrs. Taxpayer.
The Castellini Co., which argued just two years ago that its overtaxed riverfront land was worth only $5.4 million, has sold it to you -- for more than $35 million.
Are you choking? Let me get you a glass of water.
Oh, here's one from the lawyers: 20 cents for every photocopy, 50 cents for every fax, and they're running the meter at $150 an hour while they yada-yada-yada on the phone like Jerry and Elaine.
Take a deep breath. Maybe we should take a break.
After all, $400 million is a lot cheese -- there's bound to be a little nibbling around the edges. Some mice are already squeaking over the crumbs.
Two law firms are doing most of the land and title work. So far, that's $183,000 to Vorys, Sater, Seymour & Pease, and $233,000 to Kohnen & Patton.
The hungry losers smell a rat -- politics. Vorys is the firm where former Hamilton County Republican Party Chairman Eugene Ruehlmann works. Kohnen & Patton is named after the Republican chairman before Mr. Ruehlmann, Ralph Kohnen.
That looked like an odd coincidence, so I did some research. The law firms were selected by the Hamilton County Prosecutor's office and the Hamilton County Commission.
The "gatekeeper" for billing is lawyer Michael Florez -- a former campaign treasurer for Prosecutor Joe Deters.
Here's another surprising coincidence: They're all Republicans. Current GOP Chairman Mike Allen said, "There was no party involvement in any of that stuff."
Mr. Allen's brother was listed in stadium bills for a $63,000 consulting fee. Mr. Allen says it's a family business that has done work with the county since the 1930s, and he has absolutely no connection to it. But he understands how such things can look bad. "People can read into that whatever they like," he said.
I asked Andrew Patton of Kohnen & Patton about political connections. "I don't think that's true at all," he said. "Mr. Kohnen was not involved in that process whatsoever. He's no longer practicing law."
Mr. Ruehlmann said his firm was best for the job. "I'm no longer a partner. I have not done any of the work. I don't get any of the benefit from that."
"That man truly is "Clean Gene.' He would never do anything unseemly to get that business," Mr. Allen said.
I believe that. I believe it's fine for the county to hire "people you can trust," as one of the lawyers put it. I agree with Mr. Ruehlmann that his firm "should not be prohibited from public work simply because I was in public office." I believe all these guys are honest -- but they sure have a talent for creating the opposite impression. Four or five law firms applied for the work -- and all but two or three had conflicts of interest. "I don't even know of a firm that wasn't conflicted out that didn't get work," said Mr. Deters. The firms hired by the county are skilled and qualified. But there are enough lawyers in Cincinnati to fill a new stadium. Hundreds must be just as skilled and qualified.
So I asked Hamilton County Democratic Party Chairman Tim Burke if any former Democratic Party officials are getting county stadium work.
He replied, and I quote: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." When he stopped laughing, he added, "C'mon, this is Hamilton County. Let's not be surprised at what has been happening here for decades."
Maybe that's the best advice. With $300 million more in "closing costs," we still have a big stack of papers to sign. Let's not be surprised -- at anything.
Peter Bronson is editorial page editor of The Enquirer. If you have questions or comments, call 768-8301, or write to 312 Elm Street, Cincinnati, Ohio 45202.
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