Monday, December 13, 1999
Squeezing in some humor
Tony Michaels delivers news, opinions and accordion music on WGRR
BY JOHN KIESEWETTER
The Cincinnati Enquirer
It's just one man's opinion, but Tony Michaels must be Cincinnati's most unusual radio news anchor. When news doesn't break out, he breaks into song.
On his accordion.
The weekday “Accordion Oldie” and his “One Man's Opinion” commentary are popular daily features on the WGRR-FM (103.5) morning show with Chris O'Brien and Janeen Coyle.
“One day I came in and said, "Do you wanna do something really stupid? Why don't I bring in my accordion?,'” says Mr. Michaels, 49, who has been at the station nearly 20 years.
“I have no clue why it's so popular.”
After the 7:30 a.m. news, Mr. Michaels straps on his Iorio Accorgan accordion and plays a few bars of a song from the morning show play list. It could be anything from “Surfer Girl” and “Born to be Wild” to “Devil with the Blue Dress” or “Snoopy's Christmas.”
“We've done every song, I think,” he says.
“Over and over and over,” adds Mr. O'Brien, the station's morning host since 1991. (His wife, Ms. Coyle, joined the show in 1995).
On this morning, he picks the Ronettes' “Frosty the Snowman.” He practices just a few seconds before squeezing out a few bars on the air. Almost instantly, a caller from Florence names that tune, and wins a prize from iGourmet.com.
Then Mr. O'Brien plays the Ronettes' song, with Mr. Michaels joining in.
“This is always the fun part,” Mr. Michaels says. “I play along, and I have no idea what key it's in.”
That doesn't surprise Mr. O'Brien. He knows his newsman traveled with his own seven-piece show band in the 1970s, and played in the New Beginning trio for years at the Regal Hotel.
“Tony's a great musician,” Mr. O'Brien says. “I guess people think he can play anything — because he does.”
Sense of humor required
The daily accordion tune predates the oldies format. Mr. Michaels first pulled out his accordion in 1987, when 103.5 was WBLZ-FM, an urban contemporary station playing Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie.
“You haven't lived until you've heard (Michael Jackson's) "Beat It' on the accordion,” he says, laughing.
The “Accordion Oldie” is hugely popular with listeners, says program director Chuck Finney, because “everybody can play vicariously, trying to guess the song.”
The Turtles, Peter Noone and other musicians — with one notable exception — have enjoyed his renditions of hot wax hits.
“We did "House of the Rising Sun' when Eric Burdon of the Animals was here, and he had no sense of humor — at least at 7:45 in the morning,” recalls Mr. Michaels in the new WGRR-FM studios at 2060 Reading Road, near Dorchester Avenue.
“He said something like, "They ought to throw the bloody thing in the river!' He was not amused.”
Family ties
The Madisonville native started accordion lessons at age 4, at the insistence of his mother. He also sang with a quartet, the Half Pints, when he was 5. By the time he graduated from Milford High School in 1967, he could play trumpet, drums, bass and keyboards.
“Music has always been a part of my life,” he says.
He quit the road to become a radio news announcer in 1978. Two years later, he joined the station when it was Hamilton's WOKV-FM. He has survived four studios, six owners, even more musical formats — and one firing.
He was terminated 10 years ago by then WBLZ-FM in a Christmas Eve budget cut. The station hired him back 13 months later.
“The joke around here is that I don't answer my phone on Christmas Eve,” he says.
At the time, he was a single parent raising a daughter and son. His wife left when the kids were 4 and 5.
“For a number of years, someone would come to my home at 4 a.m. when I went to work, sleep on the couch until 7, and then get the kids up and off to school,” he says.
He provided for them, as his mother and grandparents had done for him. (He never knew his dad.) Mr. Michaels' six-year stint as Mr. Mom ended when he remarried in 1994.
“I was raised with the fact that you've got to do what you've got to do, whether you like it or not. And my kids helped me get through it. They did much more for me than I did for them,” he says.
Everyman essays
For many years, he entertained at area clubs at night, after his morning radio gig.
“Fridays were a killer, because I'd get up at 2 a.m., couldn't get to bed until 2:30 in the morning,” he says.
Mr. Michaels credits his son, Tony, a junior majoring in family life ministry at Concordia Lutheran College in Ann Arbor, Mich., with strengthening his faith in God. His son's involvement with St. Mark's Lutheran Church youth group in Milford led Mr. Michaels to become a church elder, youth director and occasional music arranger.
Trips to Concordia inspired two recent “One Man's Opinion” essays, his 8 a.m. commentary. Technically, the vending machines that ate his change at Interstate 75 rest stops provided his “sad saga of swindle” for listeners last Tuesday and Wednesday. All he wanted was a Coke, some Doritos and a Nestle Crunch bar.
“We've all lost money in a vending machine, so I thought I'd do a "One Man's Opinion' on it. I got so wrapped up writing it, that it turned out to be two parts,” he says.
The commentaries are part Andy Rooney, part Andy Griffith. The popularity of the folksy diatribes prompted WGRR-FM to print “Tony Michaels for President” stickers in 1996.
“My personality is such that I have a very definite opinion on things, if you just ask me. But I'll tell you: It's just one man's opinion.”
He's become such a celebrity that he'll host a fourth annual Cincinnati delegation to a Norwegian Cruise Line “oldies cruise” in September.
He's packing light. The accordion stays home.
“The temptation to throw it overboard would be too great,” he says.
Of course, that's just one man's opinion.
John Kiesewetter is Enquirer TV/radio critic. His column appears Monday and Wednesday. Write: 312 Elm St., Cincinnati 45202; fax: 768-8330.
