BY KRISTA RAMSEY The Cincinnati Enquirer As DeDe Munoz drives up her long, sweeping driveway, she tells her teen-age children, ''I just love here.'' ''Here'' is more than the spacious Mason home she shares with former Bengals offensive lineman Anthony Munoz. It is more than their 10 acres and small lake - more, even, than the intensely close family life they have built together. ''Here'' to DeDe Munoz is a poignantly sweet time in life. A time when some of her most cherished hopes have been fulfilled - including her husband's first-ballot selection to the Pro Football Hall of Fame last week - and most of her intense fears have faded. She's drinking it in, with uncommon humility and self-perception. It is something first-time acquaintances realize quickly: The public may not know who DeDe Munoz is, but she does.
Old-time valuesDeDe Munoz is a very private person married to a very public man. She prefers fading into the background. Her 6-foot, 6-inch husband, one of Cincinnati's best-loved and most familiar athletes, seldom can.''I'm very anonymous by myself, but never with Anthony,'' she says, in a calm, even voice. ''Sometimes I don't feel like being gawked at, but people just want to say hi to him. I've never had a day where people were rude to me.'' Admiring onlookers would be wise to give both Munozes equal time. DeDe Munoz is a woman of soft voice but strong conviction. She grew up with physical abuse, but today values domestic harmony - and lively disagreement. She and her husband have taught children Michael and Michelle to ''argue well.'' She is a superstar's wife who says, ''I am not a glamorous woman. I am not a typical football player's wife'' - then adds, with awe and obvious delight, ''but Anthony Munoz adores me.'' Who wouldn't? DeDe Munoz is a Hall of Famer in her own right. A woman who refuses to obsess about fame, wealth, looks, or even football. A kind and unpretentious person. A human being worth knowing. She has managed to lead a very traditional life in the very untraditional venue of big-league sports. She loves her children intensely, supports their every academic and athletic effort - both are stellar high school athletes - and raises them with old-time values of purity, honesty and sexual chastity. She has maintained an intensely happy marriage at a time when 80 percent of NFL marriages end in divorce. She has fought against her own personal opponents - 18 years of panic attacks and agoraphobia - to board planes and navigate crowds to see her husband play. She is the first to say her identity is wrapped up in the roles of wife and mother. She embraces both with such force - and conviction - that they seem the ultimate in personal choice.
Supremely herselfSunday's announcement of Anthony's Hall of Fame induction brought a shower of attention on the family again. DeDe Munoz, as always, remained supremely herself.''I don't care at all about being popular,'' she says. ''I care what my family thinks of me, what I can do to improve my relationship with my husband, how to help my children be better people. We all aspire to significance, but I look for my significance from God.'' From the time their children were little, the Munozes stressed personal responsibility, hard work and high character. In a few years, they will see them off to college. What will remain is the steady friendship, unfailing love and respect of Anthony and DeDe Munoz. It is a large part of why Mrs. Munoz loves ''here'' so much. ''Someone recently told me, 'I see Anthony in the paper. I see Michael in the paper. I see Michelle in the paper. What do you do?,' she says with a smile. ''I might not seem very important to somebody else, but I feel very valuable to my family. I'm the glue. I'm the rudder. I've never questioned where I fit.'' Krista Ramsey's column appears on Saturdays. Write her at 312 Elm Street, Cincinnati 45202.
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