BY KAREN SAMPLES
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Darlene Reynolds, a Madonna Manor Nursing Home employee, laughs with Bee Bop the clown.
(Craig Ruttle photo)
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VILLA HILLS --
It must be 100 degrees outside. I'm thinking the heat has warped Miss Kitty's brain.
It's not so much her blue hair, red high tops or jumpsuit with long-sleeved blouse underneath. It's her socks. They're long, rainbow-colored and wool. Underneath, she's wearing yellow tights.
Summertime can be hell for a clown.
Still, here's Miss Kitty at Madonna Manor nursing home on Friday, not only wearing about 10 pounds of clothes but also generally acting zany in them. Of course it's air-conditioned inside, but just the dash from the car to the front door had to be murder.
"I'm sweating makeup," confides Harmoni, a fellow clown. You'd never know this from looking at the two of them, though, and it's not just their painted-on smiles.
Harmoni, Miss Kitty and friends do their best to follow all the clown rules. One is that every bit of flesh should be covered up; clowns aren't like other people.
Another is that you can't just undress at your car, or take a notion to rip off your wig.
"Little kids think we're real," says Taffy, another clown I met Friday. "After your show is over, you're not supposed to take your hair off while you're driving home. That would be pretty scary to see a clown face, and then your hair all full of bobby pins under there."
Right. Keep those pins covered. We're much less likely to be shocked by a head full of raspberry-colored yarn.
Taffy is really Denise Wagner of Alexandria. Miss Kitty is Lesa Smith of Fort Thomas and Harmoni is Bettina Adams of Melbourne. Also at the nursing home this week were Pat Hahn of Wilder, a.k.a. Bee Bop, and Joyce Spiecker of Cincinnati, a.k.a. Tooty Fruity. All are members of Clowntown Irregulars, a Northern Kentucky group that runs a clown school every spring. The club has about 40 members who entertain at nursing homes and hospitals for free. Despite appearances, this is one serious bunch.
They keep a log of their nursing-home visits, so skits aren't repeated. They're also working on a scrapbook to record each clown's outfit and specialty.
During their free time, members of the club are often subconsciously shopping -- for the goofiest-looking handbags, hats and ties.
Ms. Spiecker was delighted to come across a 1940s bicycle at a garage sale once; she painted it, put sparklers in the spokes and now rides it in parades.
Ms. Wagner says several clowns have scored big at T.J. Maxx, which once carried high-top sneakers in hot pink. She has found colorful outfits at thrift stores, she says.
"A lot of them are maternity clothes. They come that way: pretty weird-looking and big."
Every March is clown-school graduation. The new clowns put on their makeup and perform for family and friends.
Ms. Adams, a senior at Campbell County High School, became a clown this year. Juggling is part of her act, so for weeks she tossed around kitchen utensils, Beanie Babies and her brother's toys. Finally her mom, Lori Smith, went shopping for some balls.
During Friday's performance at Madonna Manor, Ms. Adams and the others zapped each other with a giant elastic telephone cord, pulled magic scarves from a bag and swung a rubber chicken by a string. "Poultry in motion," one of the clowns explained.
They also passed out red noses to the residents and gave them stickers that said, "I met a clown today!"
These are the best moments, the clowns say. It's worth an hour of makeup application to coax a smile from somebody.
Darlene Reynolds, social services and activities assistant at Madonna Manor, pronounced Friday's visit a success. Hardly any of the residents fell asleep, she said, and many were enthralled by the colors and movement.
Lou Schuette, 86, ended up with a red dot stuck on his nose, courtesy of one of the clowns.
Ms. Reynolds spotted him after the show making his way back to his room.
"Can I take your nose off?" she asked, smiling.
"Better not," the elderly gentleman responded, and kept right on walking.
Karen Samples is The Enquirer's Kentucky columnist. Her column appears on Sundays and Thursdays in The Kentucky Enquirer. She can be reached at 578-5584 or email
her at ksamples@enquirer.com
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