Monday, July 31, 2000
Friendly skies have cloud cover
By KAREN SAMPLES
The Cincinnati Enquirer
If you believe the hype, airline passengers are first-class jerks.
They're storming cockpits and punching flight attendants. In one case, a drunken investment banker made a deposit — it was brown and stinky — on a United Airlines service tray.
Yuck. That's gross, but it's also rare. Considering their discomfort, travelers ought to be rioting daily. Instead, they grit their teeth and manage to merely annoy each other.
Mike Keller, a software installer from Hyde Park, flies every week. His favorite complaint is that old menace: the gigantic bag. The Wright brothers probably argued over carry-ons.
“It's all driven by people's selfish efforts not to have any disruptions in their lives at all,” says Mr. Keller, who always checks luggage.
OK, so people are dodging the claim area. But what about “air rage”?
Statistics don't fly
On July 6, airline employees around the world distributed literature in airports warning about the problem. Newspapers quoted the International Transport Workers' Federation: 1,132 “air rage” incidents in 1994, compared with 5,416 in '97.
I tried to clarify these statistics. A federation spokeswoman referred me to the International Air Transport Association, which supposedly provided them. But that organization was likewise unable to explain their origin. So much for statistics.
Three weeks ago, a belligerent woman was put off a Delta Airlines flight at the Cincinnati-Northern Kentucky International Airport. So far this year, 30 unruly passengers have been similarly ejected, compared with 51 for all of last year, spokesman Ted Bushelman says.
Sounds like bad news. But consider the context: 21.8 million passengers got on flights last year in Northern Kentucky. That's about one outrageous screw-up for every 427,000 ordinary grumps.
To be sure, there are plenty of grumps. But who can blame them?
Domestic airlines are setting a record for lateness this summer. On average in May, they experienced delays in 26 percent of their flights. United Airlines was the worst at 43 percent, says the Federal Aviation Administration.
Air travel has doubled over 20 years, but airports and planes have limited space. Passengers pack into cramped quarters, whacking each other with big bags, only to end up sitting on runways for hours.
The bad, and the good
Walter Roth of Loveland flies several times a week for Ethicon Endo-Surgery. On a recent Comair flight, he witnessed a tense exchange.
The packed plane had waited 15 minutes for one man who didn't even look apologetic. He started shifting bags in the bins. Another gentleman saw the latecomer smash his coat and angrily stood up.
“Hey, old man, shut up or I'm going to whack you one,” said the latecomer.
The older man clenched his fist.
“Please, hit me,” the other taunted.
That was nasty, but Mr. Roth also recalls a delay on a runway in the Northeast. He and his seatmate, a doctor, had a pleasant exchange about their complementary professions. Mr. Roth played a nouveau flamenco CD for his fellow waiters. Later, a woman became ill, and Mr. Roth assisted the doctor.
Folks, it's not so bad out there. Really. Just downsize that bleeping bag, will ya?
Karen Samples is Kentucky columnist for the Enquirer. She can be reached at ksamples@enquirer.com
