BY ALAN VONDERHAAR
The Cincinnati Enquirer
"Whoa, what¹s this, a limousine?" That was my friend's first reaction as we located my car of the week in the airport parking lot.
Then, as I popped the trunk via the keyfob transmitter and she lifted her little carry-on into its gaping maw, "Man, you could live in there."
As she settled into the accommodating embrace of the leather "twin comfort seat," she looked about and sniffed, "Gee, this is an 'Auntie' car, isn't it?"
That was probably intended as a slur, but the Mercury Grand Marquis is unabashedly the kind of car older people favor. Elegant, not too flashy. Large and roomy. Enough chrome so that no one will take it for a stripper. A little fake wood, for a feeling of luxury at a mass-market price. Second seats that won't make friends feel like second-class citizens. Power assists, to make life easier after years of toil.
Do you have any problem with that? I don't. For what it is, the Grand Marquis is a worthy production. Let the young chicks have their flashier Grand Ams and the backaches that come with them.
As we merged onto the freeway, my conscripted consultant found the power seat controls and seemed visibly to relax after a daunting airline trip. The Marq will do that to you. It might not like twisty country roads much, but feels quite at ease on the freeway.
The only competitors in its price range (aside from its somewhat less sumptuous sister ship, the Ford Crown Victoria) are the Buick LeSabre, Oldsmobile 88 and Pontiac Bonneville, GM's equivalent "affordable" big cars.
The new skin it got last year does the Grand Marquis proud very Lincolnesque, and not at all overdone.
The Marq is served up in two series, GS and LS. LS is the slightly more luxurious, with standard pin stripes and chrome wheels, but the GS is by no means austere.
The LS I tested carried a base price of $24,120. It would be a pleasant car right out of the box, but of course the factory had to show off a bit, laying on four grand worth of options. The base car comes with the full complement of power assists, air conditioning, automatic transmission, V-8 engine, a decent stereo and 16-inch wheels.
Ford's press coddlers added a handling package for $535 that brings a 3.27 rear axle ratio instead of the thriftier but more languid 2.73, dual exhausts and rear air suspension. The dual exhausts, by letting the engine breathe more freely, bump horsepower to 215 from the standard 200 and give the machine a rather more assertive sound at wide throttle openings. On the whole, I consider the package a good deal, if you don't mind a few miles per gallon fuel economy penalty.
The test car also had the "Ultimate" package, for $2,400. This adds bright fluorescent digital instrumentation, eight-way passenger power seat, leather wrapped steering wheel, antilock brakes with traction control, automatic set-and-forget air conditioning, upgraded stereo, electronically dimming rearview mirror with built-in electronic compass and handsome "lacy spoke" aluminum wheels, instead of the standard steel. If I were spending my money, I think I'd skip the package and buy the antilock/traction control separately, and perhaps the power passenger seat. The other fripperies I could live without, including the aluminum wheels, which I often espouse on sportier cars for their handling contributions but which here are more cosmetic.
The test platform also had $735 worth of leather "twin comfort" seats up front. These are very comfortable and plush, if not very supportive laterally. They look as if they are constructed for two wide loads, although a third seatbelt keeps alive the myth of this being a six-passenger car. It's not going to carry six happy adults the transmission hump makes that a certainty. But the rear compartment is more than accommodating even for two big folks.
The Grand Marquis is powered by a modern 4.6-liter single-overhead-cam V-8, which replaced the venerable 5-liter pushrod mill some seasons back. The power peak comes at a not-excessively lofty 4,250 rpm, and maximum torque (285 foot-pounds) is achieved at 3,000. That's a bit high for this style of car, which is why I lean toward the more aggressive axle mentioned above by letting revs build more quickly, it improves launch feel in the 2-ton conveyance.
The EPA rates both drivetrain combinations at 17 mpg city, 24 highway. In the real world, I think you'll pay for your fun. I achieved 18.3 mpg, driving as I envision most owners would, with a few full-throttle bursts thrown in for the heck of it. The Grand Marquis accepted regular gas graciously.
Ride quality over decent surfaces was virtually luxurious, with both noise and harshness kept outside. The mass of the body-on-frame construction can be advantageous.
On nasty surfaces, taken more briskly than an owner might, I thought the suspension was reaching the limits of travel rather quickly, but that's a plausible tradeoff when you want a magic carpet ride. Noise level at 70 mph on a concrete highway was moderate, most of it seeming to come from the rush of air over the not particularly slippery (drag coefficient: 0.37) and rather large body.
The 16-inch Michelins, wrapped around 225/60 wheels, were tenacious on both wet and dry streets. Handling was not what I'd call crisp by design, no doubt but the big ship responded to the helm well enough except in tight turning situations, where it could use a bit more self-centering effect. On the highway, though, it tracked straight and true without need for much correction, even in heavy crosswinds. Maneuvering in tight spots takes a bit of forethought, with the 40-foot-plus turning diameter. The variable-rate power steering had a reasonable effort at both low and high speeds.
Hefty four-wheel disc brakes are standard. I'd unhesitatingly add the optional antilock and traction control this IS a rear-drive chariot, after all. As massive as the Grand Marquis is, I found stopping distances surprisingly short, with an easily modulated brake pedal. The antilock merely purred as it prevented me from locking the steering wheels on wet macadam, and there was no discernible increase in pedal effort after a rapid series of 70-0 stops.
The upgraded stereo was respectable, if not dazzling. Tuner sensitivity was about average, and the six-CD changer was mounted in the trunk for security.
Controls and the fluorescent instrument readouts were driver-friendly, and I was glad to see Ford has kept the "overdrive off" control on the end of the column-mounted shifter, but relocated the warning light to the main instrument cluster. Now if they'd differentiate it by making it other than greenish blue . . .
The Grand Marquis is made in Ontario, with good attention to details of fit and finish.
Even with the enumerated extravagances of the press fleet folks, the Grand Marquis came in at $28,745, including freight. I think most buyers would consider it a good deal.
Alan Vonderhaar welcomes email at avonderhaar@enquirer.com and snail mail c/o The Cincinnati Enquirer, 312 Elm St., Cincinnati OH 45202.
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