At least twice a week, couples come to Hyde Park Community United Methodist Church for that most optimistic of human rituals: a wedding.
They come with rings and licenses, flowers and their favorite hymns. And at Hyde Park Community, they also come with six classes in marriage preparation under their belts - sessions on family traditions, financial planning, communication, faith and sex.
''Folks have responded to our efforts to try to spend time prior to the wedding to give them some things to think about,'' said the Rev. Wade Giffin, a Hyde Park Community pastor who performs many of the weddings there. ''I'm not convinced what we do will change their lives, but there will be times in their marriage where they'll go back to what they learned when they were here.''
A bill some Ohio legislators plan to introduce next week would give residents a choice between traditional and covenant marriage licenses. To qualify for a covenant marriage license, which makes it more difficult to divorce, couples must prove they've gone through pre
marital counseling. A similar proposal became law last week in Louisiana.
Although it's a new concept legislatively, premarital counseling has been a staple of many religious traditions for years. Secular counselors have begun to join in, prodding engaged couples to look past their love to more mundane matters, such as where they will spend Christmas and who will take out the garbage.
''There are a lot of issues people don't think about prior to getting married,'' said Donald Gordon, a professor of psychology at Ohio University and co-director of the Center for Divorce Education. ''It'd be nice if we could give an antidote to all the hormones that are raging inside people as they're thinking about getting married. When you're infatuated, it's really hard to think clearly.''
The premarital counseling process varies from clergy member to clergy member in other traditions - from an hour-long meeting to classes spread out over months. The most ambitious of programs tackle the problems that trip most couples up: child-rearing, how to spend and save, sexual expectations, in-laws and careers.
The Roman Catholic Church has long been a leader in premarital counseling, requiring all engaged couples to undergo a waiting period and some sort of preparation. In the Archdiocese of Cincinnati and the Diocese of Covington, that includes an inventory that questions the couple about children, careers, faith and families of origin. It also includes evening or weekend seminars with couples whose marriages are thriving.
A study by Creighton University's Center for Marriage and Family found the overwhelming majority of couples who went through marriage preparations found it valuable. The value was highest in the earliest years of marriage, declining as time wore on.
PREMARITAL STANDARDS SET
