BY JULIE IRWIN
The Cincinnati Enquirer
It's a situation that every parent can recognize: a child crying uncontrollably as his sleep-deprived caregiver grows more frustrated. But occasionally from such an ordinary situation comes an extraordinary horror: a child dead as a result of his parent's anger and frustration. Margarie Davis, 18, of North Avondale, was sentenced Tuesday to nine years in prison after suffocating her 22-month-old son nearly a year ago after his cries in the middle of the night.
|
HOT LINES
|
|
Hot lines available across the Tristate area include:
241-KIDS: Operators of this 24-hour emergency number, operated by Hamilton County, take reports of abuse and neglect and can refer families to services.
946-LINK: The Hamilton County Family and Children First Council sponsors Family LinkLine, a 24-hour crisis hot line offering emergency counseling by professionals and access to a network of family-service providers.
946-1800 ext. 132: The Hamilton County Child Day Care Connection offers consumer tips on selecting a day-care provider.
961-8004: Parents Anonymous, sponsored by the Council on Child Abuse of Southern Ohio Inc., is a 24-hour hot line for parenting, crisis and referral information.
Butler County: 887-4055 or (800) 325-2685 hot lines during weekday business hours; 868-0888 on weekends and weekdays after 5 p.m.
Clermont County: 732-7173 or 732-7111.
Warren County: 933-1600 or 925-1600 from Cincinnati.
Kentucky, statewide: (800) 752-6200.
Boone County: 371-8832.
Campbell and Kenton counties: 292-6340.
Dearborn County, Ind.: (800) 800-5556.
|
Tristate experts who work to prevent child abuse say there are steps people can take to be sure the stress doesn't get out of hand. Resources are available throughout the area for parents confronted with the task of consoling an inconsolable child.
"It can be frustrating, especially when you're right in the heat of it, especially if a child is almost going berserk," said Linda Kilgore, nurturing - parenting coordinator for the Family Nurturing Center in Edgewood. "Walk away for a few minutes. Go to the next room if you know they're safe."
Child protective service agencies confirmed more than 1 million cases of child maltreatment in 1997, according to the Chicago-based National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse. The committee estimates that in 1996, 1,185 children died as a result of abuse or neglect, a figure that has increased 34 percent since 1985. Seventy-eight percent of the deaths involved children under 5 and nearly 40 percent were under 1 year old.
"It's a lot more complex than a lot of us like to think, because it has a lot to do with your own self-image and ego," said Patricia Myers, director of social services for Children's Hospital. "You may have the feeling you'd like to lash out at your child, but most of us have built-in restraints. But if you're in a situation where you don't have much support, don't have resources to turn to, either emotional or concrete," then potentially fatal abuse becomes more likely.
Those with low self-esteem who lack family and friends to share the burden are at greater risk for abusing their children, experts say. Different ages also present different frustrations.
The newborn cannot communicate, and caregivers are left to wonder and despair about the baby's source of unhappiness. But toddlers such as Ronneil Rodgers, Ms. Davis' dead son, have some verbal skills and can often indicate what is wrong. They are also becoming independent and physical, and can struggle against abuse. "Two-year-olds are constantly testing, because they're going through a stage of becoming an autonomous person," said Dee Dee Abraham, program director for the Alan R. Mack Parents' Center in Blue Ash. "The problem for many, many parents is, we go to school and become educated in many things, but we don't take classes in parenting. We don't know the stages of development."
For people who notice a friend or relative having a hard time parenting, there are many ways to help. Call a local church or community center to see whether there are "timeouts for parents," where a parent can leave a child for a period of time. Call around to see about parenting classes and support groups that a stressed-out caregiver can join.
"A friend or relative can make those phone calls a lot easier than the person under the gun," said Kim Lahman, clinical supervisor of the life skills education department for Family Service of the Cincinnati Area. "Offer to put your money where your mouth is and say, "How about you going out for the morning and I'll take over. Tell me where the bottles are and tell me what to do.' "
And if you're the parent with the screaming child?
"Put the child in a cushioned area where they can't hurt themselves and walk away. Call somebody and say, "I've got this screaming child.' Friends, relatives -- call anybody," she said. "It's all about support."
