BY CINDY KRANZ
The Cincinnati Enquirer
If you think it's tough to talk to your kids about sex now, brace yourself. White House advisers have floated trial balloons indicating that the president might testify Monday that he did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky, but did engage in a sexual activity. Your kids are sure to hear about it, and you may find you have to explain what oral sex is.
"If they hear about oral sex on the news, they're going to ask you, "What is oral sex?' " said Randy Cottrell, professor of health promotion and education at the University of Cincinnati. "The worst thing a parent could do is not to answer the question, because the next time they have a question they're going to go elsewhere for the answer."
Parents should provide information commensurate with the child's age and maturity, he said.
"If they're very young, you might say, "That's a different way two people show they care for each other.' If they're older, they already have been exposed to the concept of vaginal intercourse, then you might want to give a reasonable explanation for it," Mr. Cottrell said.
Although some parents might consider oral sex a taboo subject, he said it's a topic kids talk, laugh and joke about. And so, he advised parents to be straightforward and address the topic within their own value system.
"I think it's perfectly appropriate for a person to explain what it is and then say something like, "It's behavior we don't approve of, period,' or, "It's behavior we don't approve of between unmarried adults' or whatever your values are," Mr. Cottrell said.
Laura English, clinical social worker with Family Service of the Cincinnati Area, said that when a young child asks, keep the answers age-appropriate and simple. Don't bombard them with information. Parents "can simply say, "Inappropriate things were done,' and leave it at that," Ms. English said.
Parents do need to talk honestly with their teens about oral sex, said Cathy Kunkel-Mains, prevention and management program manager with the Northern Kentucky Independent District Health Department.
"Oral sex is something our young people engage in as a way to prevent pregnancy," she said. "The reality is, it's not foreign to them; so we have to be realistic and talk about it. It's very appropriate to express our values regarding those activities."
