BY CINDY KRANZ
The Cincinnati Enquirer
![[monson]](/editions/1998/12/17/monson_150x182.jpg)
Tracy Monson met her husband of three years, Mahmoud Lambriden, on the 'Net.
(Yoni Pozner photo)
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With the click of a mouse, John Fee found a spouse.
He couldn't have known the outcome when he saw the Internet personal ad that Tracy Thacker placed out of boredom while recuperating from knee surgery. But their friendship blossomed into love, and they were married by his uncle in Birmingham, Ala., on Nov. 14, a little more than a year after meeting in cyberspace.
“I think it's becoming a more acceptable way to meet people than it used to be,” said Ms. Fee, 26, an account manager for a Cincinnati public relations firm. “My friends thought I was nuts at first. (But) when they met him, they said, "You know, Tracy, he is perfect for you.”'
The Fees are hardly alone in their online love affair. In the film You've Got Mail, which opens Friday, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, are bookstore rivals who unwittingly meet in an online chat room and “fall in love” online.
Conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh married his third wife, Marta, in 1994, after meeting her online four years earlier.
And hundreds of Tristaters are meeting each other every day, thanks to the Internet.
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ONLINE DATING SERVICES
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There are hundreds of dating services and personals sites on the Internet and online services. Here are three addresses to consider:
• http://www.match.com offers a free seven-day trial membership. Membership is $12.95 for one month with option to buy additional month-long packages at discount.
• http://www.webpersonals.com offers free searches and postings. You pay to initiate a mail conversation with another member, but it's free to read, hear or reply to mail sent to you. Packages available starting at $9.50 for 50 credits.
• http://www.matchmaker.com offers a two-week free trial membership. Membership is $12.95 for one month, with option to buy additional months at discount.
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Online dating is burgeoning, in part, because of the growth of online services, such as America Online, which has 14 million subscribers. There are 50 million Web users in the United States, and surveys show 60 percent of the online population is single.
That's a pool of potential mates that can't be found in the traditional places where singles mingle.
“The No. 1 complaint single people have when they come to any dating service is lack of access to other people,” said Trish McDermott, online dating expert for San Francisco-based Match.Com (http://www.match.com),the largest online dating service in the country with 1 million people registered and 600 confirmed marriages.
“We didn't get married in college where we had a thriving social network. We moved away from home. We've got kids at home, so we're not out nightclubing,” Ms. McDermott says.
And while there's also a pool of potential trouble from predators and weirdos, experts say online dating gets an unfair rap.
“There certainly is a misperception that people online are somehow different from people you see in your off-line existence,” Ms. McDermott said. “(The Internet) matches the real world.”
Internet dating, she said, is no more dangerous than a blind date. In fact, it may be safer.
“The advantage is people are really meeting each other from the inside out and falling in love from inside out,” Ms. McDermott said.
“Rather than walking into a nightclub and deciding who your life partner is going to be based on height and weight, you are getting to know someone based on their values, hopes and expectations, sense of humor and, most importantly, the ability to express themselves. These are attributes that make for lasting relationships.”
If people approach online dating with common sense and caution, Ms. McDermott said, the experience can lead to lasting friendships, love and even marriage. Here are fourTristate couples whose online dating experiences led to love or marriage.
× Serious, successful search
Charles Hansel was living in North College Hill when Alice Chicoine's profile popped up on his screen as a possible match. So, he responded to the personal ad that the 36-year-old Dayton, Ohio, woman placed with Match.Com in February.
“I was very specific about what I was looking for, so almost no one matched,” said Mr. Hansel, a 38-year-old private contract computer consultant.
Ms. Chicoine, who works in human resources for a Dayton transportation company, and Mr. Hansel met April 22 at TGI Friday's in Dayton. Four days later, they went shopping. She was purchasing Beanie Babies when they glanced at each other and felt the first spark.
They live together in Hamilton in a house they bought in July. They plan to marry Feb. 29, 2000.
They are both professionals who are divorced, like to shop, eat out and go to the theater. She is anything but meek, which is a good thing because he hates “meeks.”
“I was seriously looking, but I didn't think I'd really find anyone,” said Ms. Chicoine, who tried seven online dating services. “For a while, I had a different date every night of the week.”
Meanwhile, Mr. Hansel had used online personals since November 1997, trying four to five sites.
“Some places I didn't like, because you couldn't search very specifically. I didn't want to fall in love with someone from Bangkok. I met hundreds of ladies on the Internet. (He dated about 20). I would have met hundreds of ladies the rest of my life.”
Across the globe
When Tracy Monson graduated from the University of Colorado in 1993, she wanted to see the world.
Knowing she'd be visiting dangerous countries, she posted a note on the Internet seeking travel companions and places to stay.
As it turns out, she unwittingly met her husband of three years, Mahmoud Lambriden, through the Internet. His cousin, then a Boston University professor, responded to her e-mail. He said Mr. Lambriden and his family would love to host her in Algeria that November.
Ms. Monson and Mr. Lambriden talked on the telephone several times to arrange her visit, but then war broke out in Algeria.
“There was no way I was going to go,” said Ms. Monson, 31, a PC specialist from Anderson Township. “There was an edict out on anyone who wasn't Algerian.”
She ended up in Japan, where she taught English for 11/2 years. After she was there a year, he sent her a letter in February 1995 saying he had left Algeria for political reasons the previous September and moved to Italy.
“The first time I spoke with her, she sounded to be a very interesting person and very nice. I still wanted to meet her,” said Mr. Lambriden, 26, a University of Cincinnati computer science major.
“I was so surprised and happy to hear from him, because it was amazing to me how he found me, and how his letter got forwarded to my then-present address in Japan,” Ms. Monson said.
After her teaching contract was up, she flew to Italy to meet him in October 1995. They were married a month later in Florence.
They lived in Tunisia three months, before moving back to Cincinnati. They now have a 2-year-old daughter, Diana.
Each speaks at least four languages. They love to explore nature, cook and travel.
Said Ms. Monson: “We value the same things — education, critical thinking, open-mindedness.”
Unexpected love
Marriage was the last thing that Mary Polley and Dennis Mosinski were looking for in the summer of 1997.
She was going through a divorce when she was surfing the Net in June 1997 and saw a note posted by a Cleveland man on America Online's Billboard. She was struck by his note, because he was also divorced and about her age.
They married four months later and today live in Blue Ash.
“Obviously, I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship, because I was going through a divorce,” said Mrs. Mosinski, a 43-year-old receptionist. “I just wanted to talk about my troubles.”
“I was just looking for friendship, someone to talk to,” said Dennis Mosinski, 44, a quality control inspector.
She first e-mailed him in June. They met in a Columbus restaurant — half-way — on the afternoon of July 4 and talked until the restaurant closed.
They spent hours every night online or on the phone, much to the consternation of Mrs. Mosinski's teen-age daughter, Michelle.
“For a while, she moved back with her dad just to use the phone,” Mrs. Mosinski said.
He has two grown sons. She has two teen-age daughters. They are both conservative Christians.
Other than that, they had little in common.
She loves music. He's not musically inclined. He knew a lot about computers. She didn't, but he helped her learn.
He likes science fiction. She likes love stories.
“The differences attracted us, and the fact we had a lot to learn about each other,” Mr. Mosinski said.
He proposed online. “We did everything on the computer,” Mr. Mosinski said. “Except for the marriage. We did that in person.”
Drawn together
Clark and Jenny Marx of Amelia met in an America Online music chat room in November 1994. She was a high school senior living in the mountains of Big Bear City, Calif. He was a college student from Amelia.
They married in July 1997, almost three years later.
“We both have an odd sense of humor,” said Ms. Marx, 21, a computer customer support engineer. “We used to say we were cut from the same cheesecloth.”
After two days, they exchanged e-mails. “It got to where every time we had a thought, we would e-mail each other,” Ms. Marx said.
“At first, it was just friendship,” said Mr. Marx, a 23-year-old Web developer. “There was no real love online. The love was only in person.”
They first talked on the phone in January 1995, and she flew here three months later over high school spring break. (Their mothers talked on the phone to check each other out. He lived with his family, and she stayed in the spare bedroom.)
“It's just something that happened,” she said. “I was looking for someone to talk to, because it was kind of lonely up there (in the San Bernardino Mountains).”
He flew to California to meet her family, and she moved here in September 1995. They got engaged and married in unconventional ways, like the way they met.
He proposed while they were playing paint ball, and they were married in a bar July 25, 1997, with 47 other couples as part of a country radio station promotion.
“We didn't have the heart to tell them we don't listen to country music,” Mr. Marx said.
"Nice professionals'
Tracy Thacker of Dayton placed an ad on Webpersonals.Com (http://www.webpersonals.com) in August 1997 and waited for the kooks to respond.
“What was weird is when I got replies back, they weren't freaks at all,” she said. “They were from nice professionals.”
Meanwhile, John Fee took a break from studying one night and pulled up the personal ads for amusement. Mr. Fee — then a law student but now a 30-year-old car sales and leasing consultant from West Chester — spotted Tracy's and responded.
His response struck a chord. He was intelligent, open-minded and a dog lover. “If he didn't like my dog, he would have been out,” she said.
He also liked sports, all kinds of music, movies, books and wanted a family.
“He thought it was really important right off the bat to talk about his family, how important they are to him and how honesty is important to him,” she said.
The two proceeded with caution, figuring they had nothing to lose by being completely frank. They could always log off if the relationship soured.
They met in person for the first time at a Dayton bar on Aug. 29, 1997and hit if off immediately.
“Neither one of us spoke a word about it, but within two months we knew we wanted to get married,” Mr. Fee said.
How to date safely online
![[monson]](/editions/1998/12/17/monson_454x550.jpg)