Tuesday, March 09, 1999
Worried about care, man, 79, kills son, self
His 'buddy' had Down syndrome
BY JANE PRENDERGAST
The Cincinnati Enquirer
FORT WRIGHT — For 40 years, Elmer Dedden attended to his son's every need. He didn't want Down syndrome to get in the way of a good life for Dale.
But being a caregiver and getting older took its toll, so much so that the 79-year-old great-grandfather did something unthinkable Sunday. Apparently afraid that no one could take care of Dale, Mr. Dedden ended both their lives with a gun.
The men's bodies were found in a bedroom of their Kentucky Avenue home about midnight. Police think it was about 10 or 10:30 p.m. that Mr. Dedden shot his son and then himself.
The final act — after a lifetime of only the best care — left friends and neighbors saddened for the man who had become so desperate.
“The young man whose life he took was his constant companion,” said Mayor Gene Weaver. “I don't think it was done for any other reason than he just cared so much.”
The two men went through the Hardees drive-through together just about every day. They always ordered the same thing — two double-cheese burgers, a deluxe cheeseburger and a large fry — $5.28, with Mr. Dedden's senior discount.
The father chatted with day manager Sandy White as she bagged their food and passed it through the window. He mentioned to her last summer that his wife had died and offered Ms. White his wife's shoe collection. She took notice when the car didn't come through Monday.
“He was such a nice man,” she said. “And I'd always ask him how his buddy was. That's what he called his son.”
Police are still investigating the shootings. Chief Dan Kreinest said the men were last seen about 3:30 p.m. Sunday by another son, Terry, who lived in the basement of the house. Terry heard noises upstairs later but did not know they were gunshots, the chief said. He found his father and brother dead just before midnight.
Down syndrome is a birth defect caused by a chromosome abnormality. It is characterized by varying degrees of mental retardation, certain physical features and sometimes health problems. It wasn't clear why Mr. Dedden, who is also survived by a daughter, believed he had no recourse. Chief Kreinest said he and his late wife, Ruby, were so protective of their son that he might have felt no one else could provide the care.
Mr. Dedden's decision to end both of their lives came as Kentucky advocates for mentally impaired people are calling for more help from the state, which now ranks 48th in the United States in spending to help retarded citizens.
“Why was this man so desperate that he took these drastic measures?” said Kathleen Lord, a legally blind woman who is president of the Greater Cincinnati Coalition of People with Disabilities.
“The tragedy wasn't that the father was old and sick. The tragedy wasn't that his son had Down's syndrome.
“The tragedy is that the system — someone and somewhere — failed them.”
A study last year estimated the number of mentally impaired Kentuckians at more than 16,000.
Almost half of those were being cared for by relatives who were more than 60 years old.
“Mr. Dedden and his wife just adored their son,” the mayor said. “I guess it all just caught up with him.”
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