Wednesday, April 28, 1999
Historic, epic and . . . trashy
From 'Cleopatra' to 'Shocking Police Videos,' here are the good, bad and ugly of May sweeps
BY JOHN KIESEWETTER
The Cincinnati Enquirer
What's the best word to describe May sweeps: Epic? Historic?
“Epic” describes CBS' Joan of Ark and ABC's Cleopatra miniseries during sweeps, the four-week period that helps broadcasters set advertising rates through Thanksgiving.
“Historic” better fits NBC's Noah Ark — the first time the great flood occurred after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. (The greatest story ever told wasn't good enough?)
“Epic” suits Great Expectations, PBS' May miniseries airing against the networks' big-budget specials.
“Historic” would apply to ABC's unprecedented decision to schedule two broadcasts each of three movies (The Rock, Phenomenon and Father of the Bride II) during sweeps. (You don't have to wait until Memorial Day for reruns!)
“Epic” could apply to PBS' two-night profile of Douglas MacArthur, the first in a series of great generals from The American Experience.
“Historic” describes the record number of low-budget “reality” video specials, everything from Train Wrecks to The World's Scariest Explosions Caught On Tape! (You could call the glut of sweeps' specials a train wreck.)
Fans of Home Improvement, Mad About You and Melrose Place may argue that their favorite shows signing off in May are of epic proportion for TV land. (Dozens more TV series will be history when networks announce their fall lineups the week of May 17.)
Sweeps also brings a historic number of pro wrestlers from cable's top-rated programs to the networks, starting with UPN's two-hour WWF Smackdown! on Thursday (8 p.m., Channel 25), the first day of sweeps, and ending with NBC's Jesse Ventura Story quickie docudrama May 23.
Epic? Historic? You may argue the semantics. My job is to list the good, the bad and the ugly.
The good
Set the VCR for some of these, so you have something to watch during four months of summer reruns:
• Home Improvement: The first of four final episodes airs Tuesday (8 p.m., Channels 9, 2) with Jill (Patricia Richardson) sweating out her thesis in psychology. Tim Allen's eight-year run ends May 25 with a 90-minute episode featuring Al's (Richard Karn) wedding and clips from past shows (which air 6:30 p.m. weekdays on Channel 19).
• Mad About You: Wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage guest stars Monday in the once-classy Helen Hunt-Paul Reiser sitcom (8:30 p.m., Channels 5, 22). Carol Burnett and Carroll O'Connor return as the in-laws on May 13, then former co-stars Richard Kind, Robin Bartlett, Suzie Plakson and Hank Azaria attend the one-hour finale May 24.
Mad About You fans also should set the VCR for 6:30 p.m. weeknights when Channel 64 repeats the best episodes, starting with the two-part “Birth” (Thursday and Friday).
• Great Expectations: Mobil Masterpiece Theatre presents Charles Dickens' classic 1861 rags-to-riches story about orphaned Pip (Ioan Gruffudd) May 9-10 (Channels 48, 54, 16). It competes with The Hunt for the Unicorn Killer (NBC), Phenomenon (ABC) and Sidney Poitier's The Simple Life of Noah Dearborn (CBS).
• Joan of Arc: Jacqueline Bisset, Powers Boothe, Olympia Dukakis, Neil Patrick Harris, Robert Loggia, Peter O'Toole, Maximilian Schell, Peter Strauss and Leelee Sobieski (as Joan) star in CBS' miniseries about the peasant teen who united France before being burned at the stake (9 p.m. May 16 and 18, Channels 12, 7).
• Double Platinum: Diana Ross plays a singer who meets the daughter (Brandy) she abandoned as a baby, and tries to patch things up and boost her daughter's music career. Co-starring in the fictional drama (9 p.m. May 16, Channels 9, 2) are Brian Stokes Mitchell (Ragtime) and Tony winners Harvey Fierstein and Roger Rees.
• The American Experience: MacArthur: PBS profiles Gen. Douglas MacArthur, America's most-decorated World War I officer who commanded forces during World War II and Korea (9 p.m. May 17-18, Channels 48, 54, 16).
• Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman: The Movie: After being dumped by CBS a year ago, Jane Seymour returns as Dr. Mike on May 22 (8 p.m., Channels 12, 7).
• Cleopatra: Leonor Varela (The Man in the Iron Mask) stars as the 20-year-old Egyptian queen desperately trying to resist Roman rule (9 p.m. May 23-24, Channels 9, 2). It's another lavish production from Robert Halmi Sr. (Merlin, The Odyssey, Alice in Wonderland, Noah's Ark).
• Melrose Place: Everybody out of the pool! Fox closes down the 7-year-old soap May 24 (8 p.m., Channels 19, 45).
The bad
Here's some “Must-Not-See TV”:
• ALF cruises on the Love Boat: The Next Wave (9 p.m. Friday, Channel 25).
• Wrestler Hollywood (formerly Hulk) Hogan appears on Suddenly Susan (8 p.m. Monday, Channels 5, 22).
• Kathie Lee Gifford hosts Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!, with real people surprising, and being surprised by, friends and celebrities (9 p.m. May 14, Channels 12, 7).
• Comic Steve Oedekerk spoofs Star Wars with UPN's Thumb Wars (9:30 p.m. May 18, Channel 25).
• Fran Drescher ends six years (about two seasons too many) as The Nanny (8 p.m., May 19, Channels 12, 7).
• Wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin appears on the season finale of Nash Bridges (10 p.m. May 14, Channels 12, 7).
• Nils Allen Stewart stars as the former wrestler elected Minnesota governor in The Jesse Ventura Story (9 p.m. May 23, Channels 5, 22).
The ugly
Exactly whose reality is portrayed on these cheap reality specials? And why do people watch them?
• Robbie Knievel Grand Canyon Death Jump Live (8 p.m. Thursday, Channels 19, 45).
• The World's Scariest Explosions Caught on Tape (9 p.m. Thursday, Channels 19, 45).
• Shocking Police Videos (9 p.m. Monday, Channel 25).
• Dave Barlia: Extreme Stuntman (8 p.m. May 15, Channels 5, 22).
• The World's Scariest Police Chases 6 (8 p.m. May 20, Channels 19, 45).
• Busted Everywhere! (9 p.m. May 20, Channels 19, 45).
• Train Wrecks (8 p.m. May 25, Channels 19, 45).
• The World's Most Shocking Moments Caught on Tape 3 (9 p.m. May 25, Channels 19, 45).
Must-see stunts
Every sweeps month brings some sensational stunt casting and memorable episodes. Here's the must-see May stunts:
• Christine Baranski (Cybil) plays a psychiatrist doing a radio call-in show on Frasier (9 p.m. Thursday, Channels 5, 22).
• The Masked Magician is murdered in a two-hour Diagnosis Murder show called “Trash TV,” (9 p.m. Thursday, Channels 12, 7), with guest stars Gary Sandy, Stephen J. Cannell, Carol Alt, Danny Bonaduce, Pat Harrington and Tony Dow and Jerry Mathers (Wally and the Beaver).
• Civil rights activist Rosa Parks appears on Touched by an Angel (8 p.m. Sunday, Channels 12, 7). Muhammad Ali visits May 9.
• Dilbert battles a Y2K computer problem (8 p.m. Monday, Channel 25).
• The Ally McBeal gang watches an infomercial for Elaine's (Jane Krakowski) “Face Bra” (9 p.m. Monday, Channels 19, 45).
• Robert Guillaume returns from his January stroke for the season finale of Sports Night (9:30 p.m. Tuesday, Channels 9, 2).
• Kate Mulgrew plays Capt. Janeway's ancestor when Star Trek: Voyager does a millennium episode set in 1999 (9 p.m. May 5, Channel 25).
• The Barenaked Ladies sing a cappella on Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (8:30 p.m. May 19, Channels 9, 2).
UC research deaths go unreported
City's ready to trade up to strong mayor
Mailing on mayor mistaken for ballot
Radio system levy raises fight
System would increase cost of dispatches
Mom gets life in rape case
Officer pulls woman from fiery wreck
Lawyer denies shotgun threat on golf course
Lawyer sentenced to a year
At least three want empty school board seat
Bill Bowen laid to rest
Patton uncertain on casino gambling
Casino gambling issue controversial in N.Ky.
Melanoma Monday kicks off screenings
Skin exam takes 10 minutes
GET TO IT
Historic, epic and . . . trashy
Jazz great turns classical with 'Muir Woods Suite'
Kids get taste of life without TV
Warren growth straining schools
Web site promises no-wait medical news
Campbell schools to cut staffs
Cyclist struck by car goes home
Delhi offers car tour
Furnish jury selection slow
Jail food wins reprieve
Leads continue in Troutman deaths
Liquor licenses threatened
New rules pondered for strip clubs
Paddling helps students learn
Passing of town leader lamented
Petitions seek to save old Lebanon buildings
Prostitution arrest brings suit
Scholarship program hits its 10th year
School leader Carroll retires
Search of river fruitless; man presumed drowned
Secular role argued in Christmas case
Seminude dancers still goal of club owner
Sewer plant? Not in our backyard
Sites for Kenton jail topic of 2 meetings
TRISTATE DIGEST
