Friday, June 25, 1999
The do's and don'ts of planning a family reunion
BY CINDY KRANZ
The Cincinnati Enquirer
As 2000 approaches, family reunions are more fashionable than ever.
“People are very emotionally uncertain and excited at the same time, and they feel the need to share that with loved ones and people they have a connection with,” says Jennifer Crichton, author of Family Reunion: Everything You Need to Know to Plan Unforgettable Get-Togethers (Workman; $13.95).
“Certainly, the baby boom generation is getting older and is inclined to look back, relive memories and make new ones for their kids.”
Family reunions are ideal vehicles to renew family ties and share family history, especially in this mobile society. They also require a lot of work and organizational skills to ensure a smooth gathering.
Ms. Crichton and Donna Beasley, author of The Family Reunion Planner (Macmillan; $9.95) offer some do's and don'ts for organizing a successful family reunion.
DO
• Delegate. Spread the work around so one family doesn't get stuck making all the arrangements. If delegating, be lavish with your praise and thanks.
• Negotiate hotel arrangements. “Everything is negotiable,” Ms. Crichton says. “If somebody in the family is good at bartering, take them with you and let them do the talking.” (Make arrangements in person to create a personal connection with the hotel).
Know what you want from the hotel, Ms. Beasley advises. If you know you'll need 60 rooms and 200 people will attend the banquet, you're in a strong bargaining position. The hotel will take you more seriously than if you're uncertain of numbers.
Some things you could negotiate: a free hotel room for every 15 rooms, same rate for single and double occupancy, discount on parking or a complimentary hospitality room. Prioritize what's most important to you, and know what you're willing to give up.
• Get everything in writing before signing a contract. Ms. Beasley recommends people “overnight” their contracts back to the hotel so they have a signature of who received it. The hotel can't claim it didn't get the contract. Include a deposit of $50 or $100 so you have a canceled check.
• Add a genealogy component to your reunion. “A reunion is more than just a big party,” Ms. Beasley says. “It is an opportunity to share your family history with the next generation, to celebrate your ancestors, to enjoy your present family, to welcome all new babies born.”
Display family photos and memorabilia. Assign someone to be the family historian and do oral interviews.
• Hold fund-raisers to offset reunion costs. Fund-raisers help provide financial support to allow relatives on fixed or limited incomes to attend. Ms. Beasley's family is holding fund-raisers for their 2000 reunion so all family members get a free T-shirt at registration.
Ideas include: sell raffle tickets, family cookbooks and candy; have a bake sale or car wash.
• Check with your convention and visitors bureau. The Cincinnati Convention & Visitors Bureau, 300 W. Sixth St., downtown offers a reunion planning kit with information on hotels, restaurants, attractions, shopping, transportation and services, plus forms to order T-shirts with family name and logo. The bureau also offers a calendar of events, visitors' guide and literature for reunion guests. Call Rose at 632-5377.
• Make and maintain a budget. Include everything from napkins to ice, so there are no surprises. Remember hotel banquet facilities automatically add a 15 to 20 percent gratuity. Some people are surprised when the bill is a couple hundred dollars more
• Keep accurate and open books. “If you collect money, explain where it's going,” Ms. Crichton says. “Make sure everyone is paid promptly.”
Reunion organizers shouldn't mix their money with reunion money. Ms. Beasley advises organizers to open separate bank accounts for reunion funds.
DON'T:
• Start too late. Give yourself as much time as possible, particularly if you're planning reunions for 2000. Hotels will fill quickly. Start at least 12 to 18 months in advance.
• Expect that everyone will know each other. Introduce newcomers or cousins you haven't seen in the last 20 years. Use different name tag colors to coincide with various branches of the family. For instance, Robert Gore's descendants have blue name tags, Helen Gore's green.
• Hold a family reunion annually. “I found the most successful ones were held every two to three years,” Ms. Crichton says. “With annual ones, they had a good turnout, but people would always be missing. If a reunion were held every three years, everyone would try to make it.
“It gives people breathing time ... It gives the reunion more of an aura of a real event if it's held a little less regularly than annually.”
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