Wednesday, July 14, 1999
Miss Piggy squeals about her new movie
She asks Cincinnati to rethink pork chops
BY MARGARET A. McGURK
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Today's opening of Muppets in Space returns the grand diva of Muppet-dom, Miss Piggy, to the national spotlight — which is, she is quick to point out, exactly where she belongs.
During a wide-ranging phone interview from Hawaii, where she was vacationing, the legendary star of all media touched on her role in the new movie, her longtime heart-throb Kermit the Frog and her admiration for Hillary Clinton
Curiously, she denied all knowledge of Frank Oz, acclaimed director of the upcoming Steve Martin-Eddie Murphy comedy Bowfinger and the voice of Yoda in the Star Wars film saga, who is credited with making Miss Piggy who she is today.
QUESTION: Hello, Miss Piggy, this is such a pleasure.
ANSWER: Yes, it must be.
Q: Let's start with your new movie, Muppets in Space.
A: Thank you very much for saying it's my movie. Some people will look at it and think it is Gonzo's movie.
Q: Do you get to do any space travel in this movie?
A: Nooooo. Those outfits are much too clunky for me. This is also not — the Muppets are not in space. The question is, where is Gonzo from? And he believes that he's from space. It's not Close Encounters of the Gonzo Kind.
Q: In the movie, do you play a talk-show hostess?
A: No actually, moi am an investigative reporter. This is quite a serious profession. Have you heard of Nellie Bly? Moi plays a kind of Nelly Bly character.
Q. That seems like a natural role for you.
A: Yes, doesn't it? Pigs are naturally investigative and curious.
Q: Have you ever wanted to have a talk show?
A: Not particularly, no. I'd rather have a guest show. My show would be me being a guest at different shows. Who cares about the talk-show host? The guest is where the attention is, so moi would have a traveling guest show and moi would be the guest on all the shows on television. Moi would be the only guest. It's a breakthrough kind of a format.
Q: Is there a question you hate?
A: No I welcome all questions. Except, of course, regarding age and weight.
Q: How is Mr. Kermit?
A: Kermie is fine. He is also doing scads of interviews for our movie. Then we shall have a quiet dinner when I get back to the mainland. Moi am in Hawaii right now.
Q: What is it you are doing in Hawaii?
A: Right now? Drinking pina coladas on the beach.
Q: Not to be indelicate, but ...
A: But you are going to be anyway. I admire that. Go ahead, ask anything you want. Be as personal as you want. Go right ahead. This is your job! Disregard my feelings totally! Fire away! Regardless of how much it hurts me! You ask me! Go for it!
Q: Thank you. You're a woman of the world. Of all the men you've loved before, who do you miss the most?
A: There is only one person before Kermit. That's B.K., Before Kermit. Actually the ring that moi wears was given to me by this person, B.K. He was very dear to my life and now it's over. And from that moment on, moi has only one magnificent obsession, that's Kermie. I would rather not talk about that one person, because it hurts Kermie's feelings and he gets in a rage. You have not seen this frog in a rage.
Q: The whole world knows you are incredibly youthful and incredibly beautiful. What is the secret of your incredible youthful beauty?
A: Chocolate. Many people think chocolate is bad for you. Unh-uh. They will find out in 15 years or so that what has been touted as bad is that which gives one beauty. See me as 25 years ahead of the time. I'm really banking a lot on this. I'm shoveling the chocolate down. Moi believes that is the answer.
Q: You were divine, of course, in the AFI 100 Years 100 Legends show.
A: I did not think so. I was working all day long on some photographs, and then I went in and did that. Was I really all right?
Q: Oh, you were fabulous.
A: Many stars, we don't know. We walk away and we go to the director and say, “Was that good?” And he says, “You were wonderful, dear.” And we don't believe that, so we go to the catering, “Was that good?” On the way home, we ask the cab driver, “Was that good?” We're a bit vulnerable.
Q: Rumor has it that Frank Oz, the man who has been called your Svengali, is pulling the strings on Eddie Murphy's new comedy. And I hear he had a hand in that other space movie that came out this summer (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace). What's the real story on this guy?
A: Sorry, never heard of him. Funny last name, though. I don't believe it's real. His real name is probably something like Manny Archowicz or something. (Editor's note: Mr. Oz was born Frank Oznowicz).
Q: Have you ever thought about becoming a director yourself, like Barbra Steisand?
A: No. I think the pressures are too great. Of course the biggest pressure of all would be, moi would have to wake up three hours early to put moi's makeup on. The crew would expect it. Of course, moi has many artistic visions which would enhance the world, but I think the makeup would be too difficult.
Q: I guess it's always a trade-off.
A: It is. What is more important? Artistic vision to make the world better or eyelashes? Obvious choice, right?
Q: As a role model for women everywhere, do you have any advice for Hillary Clinton?
A: No, I think she's wonderful. It's more important what is inside the woman. She's gone through a great deal. I have a tremendous respect for somebody with so many ups and downs. I think that beauty shines from within. Hillary Clinton has that “within” beauty.
Q: Cincinnati is tremendous as a pig-loving town. The city's unofficial mascots are pigs with wings.
A: Reeeeeally? Why?
Q: It's a historical thing. They used to call it “Porkopolis” here.
A: Why?
Q: Well, there were a great many pigs who lived here, briefly, back in the old days.
A: Kind of a home for pigs? How wonderful!
Q: Kind of a temporary home for pigs.
A: So they kind of vacationed there? How sweet.
Q: There is also a dark side to this porcine fascination; 1999 has been declared the Year of the Pork Chop. Any comment?
A: What? This is Cincinnati? What happened to the vacation land? Moi am a lady, first of all. Moi does not like vulgarism, and what you just used is a vulgarism for a pig. This term is upsetting moiself greatly.
Q:It is the dark side, I admit it.
A: Cincinnati then must look into its soul. Would you call everybody personally for moi?
(At this point, an assistant comes on the line to say, “Sorry to break in here. Miss Piggy, your car is here. They're waiting downstairs for you.”)
Q: What will the year 2000 bring for the Divine Miss P?
A: I think more adulation. And hopefully a bit more time with moi's frog. I think that's all any of us truly want, is just to be with someone one loves, yes?
Q: Miss Piggy, it has been an honor.
A: Of course it has. And would you please check out that soul thing?
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