Friday, August 20, 1999
Homework is for parents, too
Keeping in touch with kids helps them get the most from school
BY CINDY KRANZ
The Cincinnati Enquirer
As Tristate parents prepare to send their children back to school, thoughts turn to school supplies, rolling back bedtimes and the onset of homework. But parents shouldn't forget to assess their own involvement in their child's school and education.
“There is a growing expectation from good schools that parents will be more actively involved in their children's education than in any other time in history,” says Dr. Sharon Ramey, co-author of Going to School: How to Help Your Child Succeed — A Handbook for Parents of Children Ages 3-8 (Goddard Press; $19.95).
Good schools expect parents to be partners in education, she says. Teachers expect parents to communicate frequently, not just attend parent conferences.
Parent involvement, Dr. Ramey says, makes a huge difference in a child's success.
“Parents are children's only protection from an inferior education. Children can't, on their own, protect themselves from poor quality teaching or a personality clash with the teacher, which could affect their self-esteem or their ability to learn.”
Too uninvolved
Parents, Dr. Ramey says, should know week by week what a child is learning. “If a parent can't tell you in the last two to three weeks what the child learned in the classroom, that parent is probably out of touch.”
To learn about the school day, she advises parents not to ask direct questions like, “What did you learn in school today?” or “Did you like school today?”
It's better to engage the child through dialogue in which you indirectly broach the subject. Some sample questions:
“Gee, it's getting cold and winter is coming. Are you guys talking about the weather or winter at school?”
“What's the funniest thing that happened in the classroom today?”
“What's your favorite thing to do on the computer?”
However, parents are too involved in a child's education when they only push academics, Dr. Ramey says. Kids also need to have fun. “We see some parents force their kids to do extra credit or are upset if they miss one or two spelling words. Young children's early years should not be competitive, and they're not about being perfect.”
Parents also may be overdoing it with daily visits, calls or extensive notes to the teacher, Dr. Ramey says, unless a special issue is being worked out.
She offers these tips for parent involvement:
• Read to your child.
“Daily reading is probably one of the most important activities,” Dr. Ramey says. “Reading books is a way of socially and intellectually engaging your child and is invaluable in promoting your child's success in school.”
• Continue to nurture your child's inquisitiveness.
“Curiosity exists in almost all children. A lot of them begin to lose it or hide it by the end of third grade. The energy that comes when children ask questions links to how much and how well they can learn. It's related to changes in the brain, chemically, that set the stage for learning.”
• Daily family routines.
They give the child a sense of not being rushed and some daily predictability. They can count on dinner at sort of the same time with pleasant conversation, followed later by a set bed time and a morning that isn't frantic. “Children don't do well when they can have this sense of panic or sense of chaos.”
• Attend PTO meetings. Visit your child at school. Volunteer.
“Many parents don't realize that children 3 to 8 years old are not yet embarrassed at parents showing up at their school. These are not middle schools kids ... Pop into the classroom. Have lunch with your kid. If it's not allowed, schools have a lot of ways to help with special trips, projects or a book sale.”
• Ask your child's teacher if he or she needs help with anything.
“Good teachers love parents to do this. It is not a hassle. It is not an intrusion.”
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