Friday, September 10, 1999
Without Kyle, life is 'too quiet' for grieving parents
Second fund-raiser scheduled Saturday
BY SAUNDRA AMRHEIN
The Cincinnati Enquirer
DEERFIELD TOWNSHIP — His laughter never filled the hallways. His footsteps never shook the stairs.
But the home of Kyle Hesselbrock is noticeably quiet without him.
The 33-month-old Deerfield Township boy died July 7 of Tay-Sachs disease, a rare genetic disorder that erodes blooming motor skills before destroying the central nervous system. Victims die before the age of 5.
As his young parents cope with their grief, they planned a fund-raiser in his memory. “Another Mile for Kyle” will be held Saturday during the West Chester FunFest. Last year's “Mile for Kyle” raised more than $10,000 for the National Tay-Sachs & Allied Diseases Association in Massachusetts.
“It's just too quiet,” Suzanne Hesselbrock, Kyle's 25-year-old mom, said sitting in her living room with husband, Andy, among a dozen pictures of their first and only child.
“I'll look at the clock and think, "He'd be getting his medicine now.'”
It's impossible to walk through the Hesselbrock home without a reminder of the blond, blue-eyed boy. Pictures grace the walls; his shirts and socks still sit in his room.
“Not a day goes by I don't go into his room and smell his clothes, not the clean ones, but the ones he wore,” Mrs. Hesselbrock said.
Then there are the unwelcome reminders — toy catalogs in the mail, expectant mothers, a boy playing with crayons at a family restaurant.
“It seems like everywhere I go, I see 19 pregnant women and 100 kids,” she said. “I'll look around at people and think, this is just another day for them. My life is standing still.”
Andy Hesselbrock said it helped when he went back to work at the University of Cincinnati, where he is a police dispatcher. He's also a volunteer firefighter for Springfield Township.
“After the first few weeks, I was feeling numb, like I wasn't sure what to do or where to go,” said Andy, 30. “When I started getting back to work, it started distracting my attention.”
Suzanne Hesselbrock said she plans to wait before deciding what type of job to take. She may go back to school.
“I don't want to go back to work just to go back to work. I want it to be something meaningful and related to my experience with Kyle.”
One thing that helps is planning for fund-raisers like the one Saturday to help find a cure for the disease.
West Chester FunFest 99 runs all day at McGinnis Park at Cox and Tylersville roads. Three 1-mile walks for Kyle will be held, one each at 1, 3 and 5 p.m.
Among the non-Jewish population like the Hesselbrocks, one in 250 people carries the Tay-Sachs gene. Among Eastern European Jewish descendants, one in 27 people carries it.
Suzanne Hesselbrock's father, Spencer Traub, is planning an auction in April for the Tay-Sachs organization, which named him fund-raising vice president of the national board in May.
To donate furniture, antiques or other items, call him at 683-7486.
Suzanne Hesselbrock says she tries to keep her spirits up with prayer.
“I used to say the Guardian Angel Prayer,” she said. “I used to say it in reference to (Kyle) for his to watch over him. Now I say it for me.”
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