Saturday, October 02, 1999
Homecoming: Warm tradition now overheated
BY KRISTA RAMSEY
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Once upon a time, when the moon was full and the air crisp, teen-agers paused from their studies for a little autumn fun.
They voted for something called a homecoming queen (and occasionally a king), then set about a relatively simple but enjoyable evening's celebration.
There was often a Thursday night bonfire, followed by a Friday pep rally and football game. The queen and her court were crowned at half-time. The town turned out, bands played, parents beamed. In the early Paleozoic era, a dance followed that night in the high-school cafeteria. Students actually came as they were, wearing blue jeans and sweat shirts. Football players came with wet hair from the shower. This, of course, was at the very dawn of civilization.
In the latter part of the era, the dance was held the following Saturday night, which required a bit more decorating of gym or cafeteria. The boys and girls got a chance to pick out something nice from their closets and some actually bought something new for the event. But it had to be something practical that they promised to wear regularly.
Limos and corsages
It is good for us to remember these times, for they are a-changing. In many schools, homecoming has grown elaborate and expensive. Limos are showing up. Girls' dresses are more glamorous and their accessories more extensive. Corsages and dinner out at a fancy restaurant are, at some schools, requisite.
For parents shocked at what the event has cost them, we warn it is a harbinger of elaborate celebrations to come throughout the year. This culminates in Prom, an economic phenomenon in itself.
There is, you may say, nothing wrong with this trend. Some of us will take whatever hygienic and cosmetic improvements in our children we can get. Nevertheless, this elaborate celebrating and overspending is a runaway train and it is carrying our children away.
If it seems that they no longer are delighted by anything, it is because they have so much of everything.
And let's be honest. High-school homecomings are merely intermediate stops. This train starts in elementary school. Local educators say they watch, slightly aghast, as elementary students are swooped up in limos on their birthdays and whisked off to dine on pizza with friends. Flowers arrive for junior high students, and huge bouquets of balloons for first-graders. By high school, SUVs line school parking lots, and European vacations are just part of being a kid.
Premature affluence
We love our children. We want to reward them, treat them, make them feel good. We can afford it. And, since we don't have time for cookie-baking, since bedtime stories are a nice thought but usually not a reality, since we and our busy teen-agers rarely cross paths, the easiest thing to do is just buy them things.
These things are just between them and us, we say. But of course it's never that way. They become the newest standard in the adolescent consumer competition. Shelly has a television in her room. Can I have a VCR? Jake invited 15 friends to a Reds game for his birthday. Can I take 20? And schools get caught in the crossfire. Expensive clothes, toys and celebrations pit student against student. Everybody loses.
University of Michigan researchers have studied this phenomenon for years. They call it premature affluence, getting too much too soon. They say it robs children of their childhood, and sets up an unrealistic standard of living that adolescents can't possibly live up to as adults.
As Jon Monger of Mariemont High School says, “If kids are raised flying first-class, that's what they expect.”
At Mariemont, where Jon is president of the Student Council, homecoming was a traditional and not overly elaborate event this year, he says. Many students ate dinner at a friend's house. Some girls traded last year's dresses. Limos were hardly spotted. People had fun.
It's nice to know. We homecoming dinosaurs had a feeling that was the point all along.
Krista Ramsey's column appears on Saturdays. Write her at 312 Elm St., Cincinnati 45202, or e-mail her at krista_ramsey@hotmail.com.
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