Friday, January 28, 2000

Montgomery woman has new career: Mom

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BY JOHN JOHNSTON
The Cincinnati Enquirer

        She misses her old job, no doubt. She misses meeting people, helping them make decisions about a new home, making sure their needs were met.

Everyone has a story worth telling. At least, that's the theory. To test it, Tempo is throwing darts at the phone book. When a dart hits a name, a reporter dials the phone number and asks if someone in the home will be interviewed. Stories appear on Fridays.

        With patience and understanding, Shelley Lutterbie guided folks through the sometimes nerve-wracking process of building a home, from construction to closing.

        “I had a lot of pride in what I was doing,” Shelley says. “It was very hard to leave.”

        Last year the 33-year-old Montgomery resident “retired” from her career as production coordinator for Neil Murphy Homes after 15 years with the company. She had two good reasons: 1-year-old Rachel and 8-year-old Ron.

        “I felt it was really important to be home with my son when he got off the school bus,” she says. “And my daughter tore at my heartstrings like crazy.”

        Shelley didn't always plan to be a stay-at-home mom. When Ron was born, she took eight weeks maternity leave, then went back to work full time. She expected to do the same after Rachel's birth.

        But then, “You start thinking about the children and how important it is, especially nowadays, to be home with them and give them the type of guidance they need to make it.”

        That led to long discussions with 36-year-old Ron, her husband of 10 years. He is systems conversion manager for GE Capital.

        They talked what the loss of her income would mean, and how it could put a serious crimp in their lifestyle. “We even contemplated selling our house and getting a smaller home,” Shelley says. “This was that important.”

        Ron weighed the pros and cons of his wife not working and pronounced it a tossup. In the end, “I really ... let her make the choice totally on her own and didn't influence her either way,” he says.

        At the going-away lunch her colleagues held for her, Shelley got plenty of pats on the back from people saying, “Good for you.” Also, some comments along the line of, “What are you doing?”

        Shelley thought she knew.

        Now, she's sure.

        “I know what I'm doing is very, very important,” she says. “But mentally it's not as challenging as having a career. And that was difficult for me. Still is.”

        Ron looks at his wife and says, “The biggest thing I see you struggle with is extracting the same sense of accomplishment out of being at home as you did being successful in your career.”

        Shelley chuckles. “I don't get the same sense of accomplishment from doing a couple of loads of laundry as I did closing a half-million dollar house.”

        But in the next breath, she says: “I know I'm doing the right thing.”

        The Lutterbies did not have to move from their four-bedroom home, built by her former employer. It helped that Ron was promoted twice in the past year and his salary rose significantly. And they found ways to make this arrangement work, from reining in credit-card spending to eating out less frequently and finding inexpensive things to do as a family.

        Shelley has sacrificed the most. She has her difficult moments, such as when the baby is crying and her son is arguing about homework and her husband is out of town.

        But those moments pass.

        “I feel like I missed so much with (my son),” she says. “I missed his first steps. Now with Rachel, I'm getting to see all that.”

        On the family room floor, chubby-cheeked Rachel won't leave her brother alone. “I like playing with my sister,” young Ron says, “except when she drools on me.”

        The Lutterbies aren't knocking day care. And they're not telling anyone else what to do. It's just that, for their family, at this point in their lives, this was the right choice to make.

        Says Shelley: “I go to bed at night and there's a certain peace in my mind, thinking, hey, I'm going to be with my children tomorrow.”

       

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