Friday, February 04, 2000
Should you bribe your kids to do homework?
Experts, parents at odds over using rewards
BY CINDY KRANZ
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Homework, the job kids love to hate, is responsible for turning many households into battle grounds. It's a war that can't be won, some parents say. Or can it?
Dr. Ruth Peters, a clinical psychologist from Clearwater, Fla., and study skills consultant to Sylvan Learning Centers, suggests a system of rewards, ranging from allowances to clothing to television time, to motivate children to do their homework in a timely, acceptable fashion. With her system, children get poker chips that they can accumulate and cash in for the rewards.
But isn't that bribery?
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IF YOU GO
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• What: Help Your Child Study: Learn New Ideas for Creating an Improved Learning Environment at Home. Sponsored by Springer Center for Learning Disabilities.
• When: 7 p.m. Tuesday
• Where: Springer Center, 2121 Madison Road, Hyde Park.
• Miscellaneous: The two-hour program addresses organization, planning, consistency, memory and evaluation.
• Cost: $15 per person or $25 per couple.
• Register: 871-9174.
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“Yes,” she admits. “I'd rather bribe a kid and jump start the behavior, internal motivation and attitude change than watch my kids fail. What is the alternative? Yelling at them, and having a lousy relationship, and having them grow up resentful? Besides, it works.”
Experts and parents are sharply divided over the use of rewards or bribes to get children to do their homework. Those opposed say rewards don't teach children to take responsibility for themselves.
Janine Bempechat, assistant professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, isn't totally against rewards. Some children who are having trouble need a little extra incentive, and families must find what works for them, she says. But, she disagrees with Dr. Peters' system.
“What this system does is it teaches kids to be manipulative. My guess is a good chunk of kids will learn how to do the minimum in order to gain the maximum number of chips,” Dr. Bempechat says.
“Whatever happened to a hug? Whatever happened to, "This was hard to do, and I'm so proud of you.'”
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CHIP REWARD SYSTEM
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Dr. Ruth Peters recommends a system of poker chips that can be traded in for allowances, clothing and privileges. A child who satisfactorily completes his homework without hassle each day gets:
• A red poker chip for an allowance. Parents need to decide how much each chip is worth, such as $1 to $2 a day, depending on your income. The child cannot get any other allowance. He is allowed to trade it in for money he can spend for anything that's legal.
• A blue poker chip for clothes. Parents, again, decide whether the chip is worth $1 to 5 a day. It's the only way the child gets clothes.
• A white poker chip for privileges. If children save, for example, 10 chips, they get to go play laser tag. Older kids can save chips for concerts and parties.
• Electricity. Successful completion of homework allows kids to use anything that plugs into the wall: TV, CD, computer etc. Lights, hair dryers and alarm clocks are exempt.
• Freedom or play time. To earn it, the child has to write down each day what assignments she has to do. The teacher must sign it. She must bring correct books and folders home, get the work done and pack her book bag for the next day. A child earns the freedom to play, go to a friend's house or have friends over.
The system works, Dr. Peters says, because it's all or nothing. Kids get five rewards a day for completing homework cooperatively. Parents can't soften and give the child one chip or let the child watch television. It's got to hurt when they don't do their job.
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Half of parents surveyed last year on parental involvement said they had “serious arguments with a child where there was yelling or crying over schoolwork,” according to Public Agenda, a New York polling organization.
Lack of motivation is most responsible for homework battles, says Dr. Peters, author of Don't Be Afraid to Discipline (Golden Books; $12).
“Parents have to realize lack of academic motivation is pretty normal. You need to take the attitude there's nothing wrong with your kid. He just doesn't want to sit there and do math problems. He's not rebellious. You're not a bad mom. He's not a bad kid.”
Children's behavior can be modified to do homework, she says, with the help of five external motivators. Each needs to be earned daily by successfully completing homework without hassle: allowance, clothing, privileges, electricity (i.e. TV, computer and radio usage) and freedom.
“All the stuff people usually give to kids for just showing up alive on Saturdays they now have to earn, which I think is a pretty good method to teach the work ethic,” Dr. Peters says. “Why not make them work for it? School is their job. I wouldn't go to work if I didn't get paid for very long. Quit giving them things for just being kids.
“The whole point is, after they get into the habit, a lot of it becomes second nature,” Dr. Peters says. “It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. You get better grades, and school becomes more interesting. After a while, a parent won't have to provide the external motivators, but it can take a whole year of doing this before the kid catches on.”
Dr. Robert R. Butterworth, a child psychologist from Los Angeles, falls into Dr. Peters' camp. He recommends that parents establish a behavior-motivation system to reward accomplishments such as homework completion, study habits and good grades.
“Pay your kids to do well in school,” he says. “Poor school performance is rarely a result of a lack of academic ability, but a failure of parents to become involved in their youngsters' schooling. Many parents now realize that doing well in school is one of the most important tasks for their child and are willing to try whatever works to increase performance. Their kids' future depends on it.”
Parents, he says, need to eliminate cruel and outdated coercive strategies to raise school achievement and adopt the methods that industry uses to motivate its employees — rewards and positive involvement.
“If adults don't work for free, why should kids?”
Make it part of routine
Instead of rewards, Dr. Bempechat, suggests motivating children by making homework part of the family's daily routine.
“Too many kids are shoved off to their rooms to do their homework. When you do it as a family like family dinners, it becomes part of what everybody craves. It becomes quality time,” says Dr. Bempechat, author of Getting Our Kids Back on Track: Schooling Children for the Future, due out in March from Jossey-Bass.
That means sitting down with your kids, depending on their age. Stay on top of what homework they have every evening. Show them you value their education. Help out in class, or provide some supplies for a special project if you can. Help them learn to cope with difficult tasks by suggesting different strategies.
“That is so much more valuable than doing your homework so you can get X, Y and Z,” Dr. Bempechat says. “When the battles start, then you tackle them head on. You tackle them as a family, and you enlist the help of a teacher, but you don't resort to this elaborate system of rewards. It takes attention away from learning and puts it on material benefits.”
If you want to provide an incentive, she suggests telling your child, “If you bring your homework home every day for two weeks, you and I will spend Saturday together, just the two of us. We'll go to a movie. We'll go to McDonald's. If you're going to reward with anything, reward with the gift of time, attention and love.”
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author and family educator from Minneapolis, says reward systems don't get to the emotions. “If a kid is not doing homework, you've got to get to the feelings behind that. What is the child feeling that makes it difficult for him to do his homework? What is he feeling that the self-motivation isn't there?”
Part of ending homework battles is determining your child's personality and learning style, says Ms. Kurcinka, author of Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles (HarperCollins; $23).
If your child is an introvert, she is drained from all the interaction at school and may need down time before beginning homework. If you have a high energy kid, he may need exercise before homework or may need to take frequent breaks.
If your child is a visual learner, rather than auditory learner, make a picture list of items that belong in her back pack, such as calculator and notebook. Have her check the list to ensure she has everything.
One cause of homework battles is the paper or project “due tomorrow” that hasn't been started until the night before. “The fact is we may have a child who doesn't understand how to break things down. That's a developmental task. Some kids get it naturally. Some kids have to be taught.”
There may be other reasons for homework tantrums: The child is over scheduled, he's upset about the bully on the bus, math suddenly isn't so easy anymore or he may being trying to connect with you, Ms. Kurcinka says.
Tristate trials
Like the experts, Tristate parents differ on the use of rewards for doing homework.
Karen Becker's 6-year-old son didn't complain about doing homework, but the Mount Carmel woman wanted to motivate the first-grader to get his weekly spelling words correct.
So, last fall, she developed a system of rewards using quarters. For every five words he gets right on his spelling test at home, he gets 50 cents. When he gets all of his spelling words correct on his test at school, he can use the money to buy a Pokemon toy or cards she has stashed in the house.
“It works really good because it's an incentive to him,” Mrs. Becker says. “It's really fun to do it that way. He's real ambitious and willing to learn because he can't wait to see what's inside those packs of Pokemon cards. Now, when he comes home, he'll say, "Mom, come on, let's work on my spelling words.'”
The reward system has improved his performance, she says, and it's taught him about money.
Parents who don't offer rewards for homework completion say they believe kids need to learn it's their personal responsibility to do their work. Their children know they must finish homework before watching TV, talking on the phone or playing outside.
“I believe verbal praise and lots of it is the way to go - complimenting them lots and lots on the quality of their work and on not complaining about it,” says Nancy Cedillo of Liberty Township. “Guide them to realize it's a true accomplishment and something to take pride in.
“With the reward system, they get the message that they're doing it for mom and dad, and to get this or that. Then, when the next assignment or job come up they'll think, "What will I get if I do this?' It's the wrong message.”
Some parents aren't opposed to periodically surprising their kids with Pokemon cards or CDs for continued good homework habits. One family has out-to-dinner-for-pizza night at the end of the academic quarter to give their kids a sense of a job well done.
Some students don't need bribes. When Katie Hamilton-Meier, an 11-year-old fifth-grader at School for Creative and Performing Arts, gets home from school, she does her homework without hassle.
“I just like the free time after I get it done,” the Northside girl says. “I always get it done so I can read afterwards or turn on the radio. After homework, I can watch TV or whatever.”
Even though she doesn't have to be coerced to do homework, she sees nothing wrong with a reward system. “I think it's a good idea. At least the homework gets done. And it makes them think if I do a really good job on this, think of all the good things I can do. It's sort of like getting a college education.”
Terrie Thiel, a Newport Middle School teacher, says parents need to start preparing children for homework when they are young by having them help you pick up their toys, clean the dishes and set the table.
“Eventually, they can do them for themselves and it becomes their responsibility, their job. This is exactly what homework is — a student's responsibility or job, and their reward is being praised by their parents and good grades.”
Her daughter, Krista Thiel, a 16-year-old straight-A student at Colerain High School, says she has forced herself to do well because she cares about her future.
“One day, we will all have to be able to survive on our own, so what are those kids going to do when they don't get rewarded for that? Students should not need bribery to do their homework. They should have enough self-discipline to do it on their own.
“The people who achieve true success in their careers and in life are the ones who are motivated from within.”
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