Friday, May 19, 2000
What makes Jane win?
Competitive victories, goal achievements keys to development of successful women
Dr. Sylvia Rimm, a nationally known child psychologist from Cleveland, and her two daughters conducted a three-year survey of successful women to learn what elements from their childhood and adolescence contributed to their success.
Dr. Rimm, author of See Jane Win: The Rimm Report on How 1,000 Girls Became Successful Women (Three Rivers Press; $14.95) visits the Tristate for a book signing Thursday. . In this telephone interview with Enquirer reporter Cindy Kranz, she talks about some of her findings:
Question: What was the most frequently mentioned positive experience among the women?
Answer: Winning in competition. It was exhilarating and motivating and made them feel special. It encouraged hard work and perseverance ... These women had plenty of losing experiences, as well. A number of doctors talked about sports teaching them to lose. That was very helpful in teaching them resilience.
Q: What was the most negative experience the women mentioned most?
A: Isolation from other kids. That wasn't mentioned all that frequently. About 15 percent mentioned it. On the other hand, many of the women had stories about feeling different, not fitting in with the crowd, and paying a social price for getting good grades or being good students. Many talked about getting teased. By high school, 40 percent considered themselves to have been less social than typical.
Kids who aren't so social in many schools are using that time to build strength and independence, and build skills that will lead them to careers ... Preschool years are important for brain development and hard wiring. In the teen and preteen years, there's another huge growth spurt that takes place in the brain. Girls and boys, in a sense, get a second chance in hard wiring their brains.
Q: You've found that middle school math decline is real for many women, even successful women. Why?
A: During that time, when these girls would have the brain growth potential, the girls' social pressures are preventing them from taking advantage of that. We need to be very careful. It's balance we're looking for. It's not that we don't want kids to be social. We want them not to be social to the extent that it's preventing them from doing all that wonderful learning.
Q: Highest on the activity list among the successful women was involvement in music. What did music do for them?
A: It gives kids their first sense of self-discipline and goal direction. You practice. You take a risk. It's hard. You practice. You get better. You're applauded. It's very specific. You can really see your progress in music. It's a very achievement-oriented thing to do. In some ways, that also holds true for Girl Scouts. You make a decision to work on a badge. You set a goal. You work on the badge. You get the badge. Everybody celebrates. Goal-directed activities teach girls how to achieve. Music has another advantage in addition to perseverance and challenge. It introduces kids to spatial skills, which are helpful in learning math.
Q: How important is sports in a girl's development?
A: Everybody needs to do physical activities for health throughout their life. One component of sports is getting girls comfortable with their bodies so they're not so inhibited. The sports component adds teaching competition, winning and losing, teaching collaboration, being a team player. Ideally, every person should learn when to help each other, when to work together as a team, when to try to beat the other team without animosity.
Q: Let's say your daughter hates practicing piano and hates soccer. What do you suggest?
A: Early on, in preschool and the early primary grades, parents shouldn't even give kids choices. They should just sign them up. Little kids don't know how to make those choices. So many parents are letting little kids make all the decisions. They're losing experiences or getting the sense that they're adolescents by the time they're 5.
Later in elementary school, give them choices among activities, not choices to do or not to do. You need to pick a sport. It could be swimming, soccer, basketball, track. It could be dance or gymnastics. ... If you sign a kid up, their commitment is for a season. You don't have to force them to take the same thing next year. You need to give them exposure to a variety of things.
Q: Based on responses from these women, how do you advise parents to stay connected with their daughters during the adolescent and teen years?
A: Talk and listen to your daughter every single day ... A most important message of my book is "be a coach, not a judge.' Your daughter has to believe you're on her team. You teach her. You set limits. If you're a judge, always looking for the negative, always punishing, you're going to lose that daughter in the process.
IF YOU GO
• What: Dr. Sylvia Rimm signs and discusses See Jane Win: The Rimm Report on How 1,000 Girls Became Successful Women.
• When: 7 p.m. Thursday.
• Where: Joseph-Beth Booksellers, Rookwood Pavilion, Norwood.
• Information: 396-8960.
Art Academy moving to Over-the-Rhine
Academy has grown in past 25 years
Kids get bum steer on flag etiquette
Boy's AIDS a rare case caused by an assault
Here's a chance to be in pictures
Stadium MRI was disputed
Cornea cases may cost $800K
Head of Covington Schools steps down
Tight Maifest controls vowed
Cities defiant over annexation bill
City tries to revive its gun lawsuit
GED test overhauled, will be tougher
Hearing-impaired studentwins award for achievement
Tell us about Memorial Day activities
DeGeneres stands up just for laughs
Dramas dominate Fox lineup
Welder puts life back together
What makes Jane win?
GET TO IT
Pig Parade: Snork-oink-eel
Queen City's moments to shine reflected in book
Bad beer boosts chemists' spirits
Batavia fire blamed on smoking, sleeping
Chiefs honor fallen peer
Deerfield divided on police
Festival salutes Underground Railroad
Fifth-graders study region
Foes in career argument
Jobs-for-grads concept touted
Kentucky primary a snoozer in these parts
Lockland, Hamilton get $500K
Man faces hearing in baby death
New bomb unit recruit is fearless, mechanical
Police across county win variety of honors
Students accuse OSU of racism
Tristate Digest
Two plead ignorance of tax law
Way cleared for complex to be built
