Monday, September 25, 2000
Olympic-style shopping
SYDNEY, Australia - The Man has been shopping. Usually, he likes tromping
to the store or the mall or the low-cost
mega-mart-big-as-Buckingham-Palace as much as acid in his retinas.
But here, he shops like an Olympian. He is loaded with cash.
It's the exchange rate, mate. Since Online Man arrived a few
weeks ago, it has hovered at about 55 cents on the dollar. For you
Philosophy majors, that means a U.S. greenback is worth almost twice
as much as an Aussie greenback.
Further, that means you stick an American five-spot in your jeans
and half an hour later, it's grown to an Aussie 10. Who wants to be a
millionaire? Who doesn't? Come to Australia with 50 bucks American,
you can slum it in style for six months.
In between slaving over his artful prose, The man has bought
pants and shirts and sweatshirts and fabulous jewelry and fine pieces
of tasteful china. Four bucks for a beer? No worries, mate. That's
about $2.10 US.
Online Man read this in the local morning rag: ""The shaky
Australian dollar faces a nervous future as international markets
react to strong moves to defend the world economy from threats posed
by a weak European currency and high oil prices.''
The Man had no idea what that meant. Except this:
Par-ty!
Usually when Online Man goes overseas (as he does, frequently),
his wallet takes a standing-eight count. In Britain in July, a
British pound cost $1.60. If The Man spent 10 pounds on lunch, it was
$16 US. Which was a lot to pay for greasy haddock and cold french
fries.
Here, though, it's like stealing. Herewith The Man's shopping
bag, to this point. All prices are in American dollars:
- Hooded sweatshirt, heavy: $9
- Four tee-shirts: $25 total.
- Opal necklace: $40.
- Hand-painted teapot: $42.
- Olivia Newton-John: $12.50.
- Sydney Harbor Bridge: $1.98.
- Sydney Opera House: $6.
- Sydney: $49.99
The only blokes The Man isn't telling about this cash-flow
bonanza are the accountants at the paper. To them, he will say the
Aussie dollar is soaring like a spaceship to Mars.
Just kidding, mates.
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