Chris Lemmon jumps up from her chair when she sees Jenni Wilburn.

        “I've got to give you a hug,“ Chris says, arms outstretched. “It's been w-a-a-a-y too long.“

        Fourteen women eagerly gather around a table at Friday's in Kenwood to share lunch and photos of their kids. But the real snapshots of their lives are preserved in stories they tell about the joy and challenges of being mothers of twins.

Chris Lemmon of Milford with twins Ben and Jenny, 16. (Brandi Stafford photos) | More twin photos |

        These women are all members of the Northeastern Mothers of Twins Club, which celebrates its 20th anniversary Oct. 17. It has 130 members now, but more than 1,000 women have belonged.

        Mothers of twins are a subculture of parents. They have everything in common with women who are mothers. Yet, only they could possibly know what it's like to nurse two at a time or dry the tears of the twin who didn't make the soccer team or the double terror of twins learning to drive.

        “Some people say, "Oh, I have kids 15 months apart. I know what you're going through.'

        “No, says Amy Cherko of West Chester, mom to 15-year-old twin boys and a girl, 11. “You couldn't possibly know what it's like to have two kids who go through the same thing at the same time, who want to do the same thing at the same time.”
       

Common ground

        Clubs like this one give mothers of twins a peer group that can help solve problems and understand what they are going through. The Cincinnati club is eclectic. Members are working moms and stay-at-home moms. They're black and white. Some have twins and singletons. Others stopped with twins.

        “We said we had Larry and Curly and there ain't no Mo,” says Donna Traut of Springdale, mom of 13-year-old twin boys.

        That's another thing these women have in common — a sense of humor. It's mandatory.

        Twins clubs will no doubt continue to thrive, given the high rate of multiple births.

        Twin births increased by 52 percent between 1980 and 1997, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta. Births of triplets and greater numbers increased 404 percent during the same period.

        Two trends are linked to this extraordinary increase in multiple births: Older women are having babies, and women in their 30s are more likely to have multiple births, even without the use of fertility treatments. What's more, the widespread use of fertility treatments increases the odds of multiples.

Julie Culpepper watches as her 6-year-old twins Kendelle and Kamille share a secret. | More twin photos |

       

Lots of questions

        Strangers are oddly curious about whether mothers of twins conceived them naturally or with fertility drugs. The moms know people are fishing when they ask, “Do twins run in your family?”

        Fielding nosy questions comes with the territory. Strangers say or ask the darndest things.

        “Double trouble,” people will say when they see twins.

        “Double blessing,” says Christina Brandewie of Wyoming. Her twins, a boy and girl, turn 11 this month.

        “Are they twins?” is another familiar question. Or, a stranger might ask if a twin boy and girl are identical. Duh.

        If a woman has twins and singletons, some ask, “Did you do that on purpose?” Or they'll give subtle birth control advice, “You know how that happens, don't you?”

        “No one sets out to conceive twins,” says Mrs. Lemmon of Milford, mother of 16-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, and two singletons, ages 14 and 13. “I just say that all my pregnancies were planned, but not all my babies.”

        “How many times do you get the question, You must have your hands full?” asks Amy Weyand-Geise of Finneytown.

        All the time, the women tell her.

IF YOU GO

Northeastern Mothers of Twins Club celebrates its 20th anniversary at a 7 p.m. party Oct. 17 at Raffel's Banquet Hall, Evendale. The club invites former members to attend. For reservations, call Chris Lemmon at 575-4119 or e-mail Donna Traut at dtraut2@aol.com.     The club meets at 7:30 p.m. the third Tuesday of the month at Blue Ash Presbyterian Church. There are four other Mothers of Twins Clubs in Greater Cincinnati and a Tristate Multiples Club for mothers of triplets and more.     For more information on all clubs, call 852-0811.

        “I'll just say, "Yes, but my heart is full, too,'” says Kathy McCarthy.
       

Twice the parenting

        Imagine the challenges of parenthood multiplied by two.

        “One of the hardest things is listening to one cry while you're doing something for the other, like when I couldn't breast-feed (two) at the same time,” says Jenny Getz of Fairfield, mom to 2-year-old twin boys and a 4-year-old boy.

        Simple things like going to a grocery store become major excursions. Wrestling with car seats is twice as irritating. Potty training is a huge hurdle, especially when one twin is ready and the other isn't. Many struggle with the decision to keep twins together or separate them in school.
       

New moms get support
        Two of the newest members of the club are Jennifer Brisben of Madeira, who is expecting twins Nov. 19, and Mrs. Weyand-Geise, who has 6-month-old twins and two singletons, 4 1/4 and 2 1/4.

        Mrs. Brisben comes to the club meetings to soak in all the information she can before she delivers. Mrs. Weyand-Geise gets moral support.

        “It helps me to know, as intense as it is to me now, everyone here made it through, and they still have smiles on their faces and have enjoyed it,” Mrs. Weyand-Geise says. “That's the biggest support I could ask for.”

        Many women join because of the equipment and clothing sales twice a year, but once they get to know other members, they're attracted by more than sales.

        Club members are a tremendous resource for other moms of twins, and advice flows freely. No matter what the concern, someone in the club has been there, done that. Topics range from bed-wetting and biting to autism and cerebral palsy.
       

Twice the advice

        Mrs. Wilburn of Maineville found that mischief came in two's when her sons, then 2, got into a habit of climbing out of their cribs during nap time and pulling clothes out of their dresser drawers. When she consulted other moms of twins, someone had already tackled that problem and offered a solution: Put the dresser in the closet and lock the door.

        The moms are there to happily share each others' twin milestones. They're also there for the unthinkable.

        One member lost a twin earlier this year. The girl, almost 2, died of accidental strangulation. As Karen Dougherty tells the story, she trembles and stops briefly, struggling to maintain her composure. “Her children are only eight days older than mine.”

        Club members check on the mother and make sure she and her twin son are still included in play groups. “Sure, her twins are not here together, but she's still a mother of twins,” says Mrs. Dougherty, of Madeira, whose twin boys are 2 1/4.
       

Relationships grow
        Members' relationships also transcend their twin bond.

        Mrs. McCarthy of East Walnut Hills has breast cancer. Her twin boys turn 7 this month. She also has an 8-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl.

        “I've been keeping a list of people who have helped me with meals and babysitting,” she says, pulling out a long sheet of paper filled with names of people and what they did for her. Most of them are mothers of twins. “When I'm rich and famous, I'm going to pay them all back.”

        The women deliver meals for her family when she has chemotherapy. They baby sit. They take her to treatment. Some of them travel from as far away as Milford and Symmes Township.

        People suggested that she join a cancer support group, but she's resisted. “Cancer is not my life. My family and friends are my life. I've got a good support group right here.”

        As the women prepare to leave, they check to see who's coming to the anniversary party. Some linger to talk in the parking lot.

        Mrs. McCarthy pulls out her list of names and starts writing. “I have to add Alice (Bayman) to my list. She just took my check.”

Authors plugging in to instant publishing
How to read: The new way
Got twins? Join the club
Toledo mom began club in 1953
KIESEWETTER: New fall TV
Health briefs
Theater review
Get to it
Pig Parade: Cured Ham Sandwich