For many dieters, Monday morning begins by reciting a mantra of renewed will power. The dieter resolves to follow the harsh rules of the latest diet craze: “I will never again eat bread, desserts, or snacks.”

        By Tuesday afternoon, the rules are broken, again, leaving the dieter to feel out of control, hopelessly fat, and like they have no will power.

        Diet experts say it isn't a lack of will power, but the harshness of the rules that sets people up to fail. In her book The Solution: 6 Winning Ways to Permanent Weight Loss (Harper; $13), author Laurel Mellin, explains that giving ourselves ultimatums is a pathway to failure.

        She says that statements like "I'll never again eat . . .” cause us to feel deprived and ultimately lead us to rebel against our best intentions.

        When wanting to change eating habits, she suggests following a two-step process. First, state clearly why changing your body size is important. Is your blood pressure elevated? Does your back ache preventing you from playing with your children? Do your knees hurt preventing you from going outside to garden?

        Next admit that changing your eating habits is difficult. Not eating chips in the evening with your family while watching TV is a hard habit to break.

        Then, the next time you are faced with the decision of eating or not eating the chips, ask yourself if it's worth enduring the difficulty of not eating.

        You may say to yourself, “I really want some of those chips. It's not fair that I can't eat them while the rest of the family can. Why does this have to be so hard? But, I also want to get some of this weight off my back so I can go and play with the kids. I hate not being able to play with them like I did before I got bigger. It's more important to lose the weight. I don't like it, but I'll pass today on the chips.”

        This kind of decision making leaves you in charge of your health. By acknowledging that changing your habits is difficult, and that you don't always like what it takes to lose weight, you are less likely to rebel against your decision. You are following your own rules, not somebody else's rules.

        Some days you may decide to eat the chips. The beauty of this kind of decision making is that you decide based upon your own rules. Chances are you'll eat the chips less often.

        Healthy Eating is provided by staff members at Jewish Hospital Weight Management Center (www.morethanadiet.com), Evendale.

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