Self-esteem is your self-estimate or your evaluation of your abilities, strengths and weaknesses. It evolves over time and is a learned behavior, and how others view you has a great influence on your self-esteem.

        Children echo the praises and criticisms of parents, teachers and other significant individuals. Notice children at play actually praise and coach themselves (“Good job!”). Children also slap their own wrists, hit their foreheads with the palm of their hand, and self-criticize (“You dummy!”), modeling the behaviors of adults toward them. Thus, supportive, encouraging parents foster high self-esteem in a child, as the child models the positive evaluation statements provided (“You can do it!” or “You're just right the way you are”).

        Adults continue this ongoing evaluation as self-estimate or self-esteem. One of the primary vehicles that you use to conduct your ongoing self-estimate is to talk to yourself. This continuous inner dialogue — self-talk — formulates and expresses your self-evaluation with accompanying levels of self-esteem. The talk is a powerful reinforcer for self-esteem.

        If you tell yourself, for instance, “I can't manage to fit physical activity into my daily schedule,” then it's unlikely you will be active. Positive affirmations (“I can lose as much weight as I need to be healthy”) are empowering, enabling statements that increase self-esteem.

        While self-talk and self-estimate determine behavior to some extent, self-estimate and self-esteem follow behaviors. The “just do it” philosophy has validity. You will match your self-estimate and self-talk to fit behaviors that have already occurred. If you simply engage in the behavior, your self-talk is likely to match the behavior, resulting in improved self-esteem.

        Personal Growth is provided by staff members at Jewish Hospital Weight Management Center (www.morethanadiet.com), Evendale.

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