Wednesday, December 20, 2000
Many couples marry each other - twice
By Richelle Thompson
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Lori Leist promises to love and cherish, to have and to hold, and to not interrupt during a basketball game.
She slips a gold band on the left hand of her betrothed, Bryon, a year ago today. He repeats the vows and adds a plain gold wedding band to the three-quarter carat, marquis-cut diamond engagement ring.
Fourth of five parts
Sunday: Impact of change is profound
Monday: Couples wait longer to marry
Tuesday: Immigration increases diversity
Today: Some couples marry each other twice
Thursday: What's the most popular marriage month?
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In front of the fireplace of a law office, Cheviot mayor and local attorney J. Michael Laumann pronounces the couple husband and wife.
For the second time.
Within the statistics of marriage and divorce lie the stories of couples who find love with each other twice.
An Enquirer analysis of Hamilton County marriage licenses reveals 3 percent of couples marrying for at least the second time are reuniting with a previous spouse. The U.S. Census Bureau does not track the number of remarriages, but Mr. Laumann says they're more common than people think.
Lori and Byron Leist, first married in 1995, remarried a year ago today.
(Glenn Hartong photo)
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To be married to the same man twice ... it's like the honeymoon's lasted longer, says Lori, 38 of Cheviot. We communicate a lot better than we did in our first marriage. We're going to parenting classes to learn how to be better parents. We've learned how to respect each other more.
The love story begins with personal ads the couple place on a bet. Lori advertises: Mother of two, seeking man with children, likes camping and outdoors.
It catches Bryon's eye. He calls four times before Lori agrees to a date.
They go to the Delhi House, eat dinner and throw some darts. Then the couple come back to Lori's place to meet her kids. Bryon hits it off with her children, playing and roughhousing, and they take to him right away.
The next night, it is Lori's turn to meet Bryon's children.
I fell in love with his kids, Lori says. All of our kids got along perfect. The whole family just clicked.
Three months after the first date, the couple move in together. They marry three years later, in 1995.
A car accident a few months later changes their lives.
Suffering from herniated discs in her back, Lori has to stop working. The injuries put her in a wheelchair and then a walker. She undergoes three surgeries, which eases some of the pain, but Lori still has problems walking.
At the same time, Bryon's oldest son hits his teen years and starts rebelling.
The combination of Lori's disability and disagreements on child-rearing strain the marriage.
The kids were running our lives, says Bryon, a heating and air conditioning technician. It was really hard to get the two (families) to combine.
On Dec. 19, 1998, Lori sits crying in a Hamilton County courtroom.
The judge asked me if I wanted this divorce ... I said, "Yeah,' but I meant no. I felt like I had already gone so far, I couldn't go back.
Throughout their separation, Bryon and Lori date. They continue, even after the divorce is final.
We never stopped loving each other, Lori says.
By May, 1999, they're living together again. But this time, they decide some changes are needed if their relationship is going to work.
They seek marriage counseling and decide to take parenting classes. They begin talking out their problems.
One night, they make a list. On one side is: I'm better off with you because . . . On the other is: I'm better off without you because . . .
There are more items on the with you list.
They start talking about getting married again. In the process, they take a lot of ribbing from friends.
But I still loved her and her kids, says Bryon, 42.
Lori buys a traditional wedding dress to wear for the second marriage. But she ends up in a black leather mini-skirt and a gold jacket. After the ceremony, they go to Sam's Club to shop.
We're trying to be better parents and to be better to each other and for each other, Lori says. We've decided "till death do us part' no matter how hard it may be. We've been together through the ups and downs, and we're going to grow old together.
Jazz will sign off
Many couples marry each other - twice
Kit Kittredge dolls sold out for holidays
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