The World's Sleaziest Specials Caught On Tape return to the airwaves again Thursday, as the networks (particularly Fox and UPN) try to pump up ratings with cheap, exploitative programs for February sweeps.

        A few gems can be found in the junk, if you look closely at the programs airing during the four-week period used by TV networks to set advertising rates.

        So here is my Top 10 list to aid in Surviving the Moment of Impact of Sweeps.

Debbie Reynolds, Shirley MacLaine and Joan Collins don't stretch very far to portray aging Hollywood divas. | ZOOM |

Top 10 sweeps shows

        1. Survivor: The Australian Outback: With Survivor being voted off Wednesdays — after the repeat of Sunday's premiere today (8 p.m., Channels 12, 7) — I'll be watching the Outback and taping the expanded 40-minute Friends. (8 p.m. Thursday, Channels 12, 7).

        2. The Flamingo Rising: Rest in peace? A funeral home owner (William Hurt) protests plans to build a drive-in movie theater across the street in a Hallmark Hall of Fame broadcast. (9 p.m. Sunday, Channels 12, 7)

        3. Bojangles: Only Gregory Hines could portray the legendary tap dancer and entertainer, Bill “Bojangles” Robinson. (8 p.m. Sunday, Showtime)

        4. The X-Files: The truth is out there, and so is Mulder (David Duchovny), who returns Feb. 25 after an intense three-week search starting Sunday by agents Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Doggett (Robert Patrick). (9 p.m. Sunday, Channels 19, 45)

        5. Haven: Wouldn't be February sweeps without Nazis, and this time it's Natasha Richardson as Ruth Gruber, a young Jewish U.S. government official who helped escort almost 1,000 Holocaust survivors from Europe in 1944. (9 p.m. Feb. 11 and Feb. 14, Channels 12, 7)

Judy Davis as Judy Garland

        6. These Old Broads: Think of this as Grumpy Old Women: Debbie Reynolds, Joan Collins and Shirley MacLaine star as aging Hollywood divas reunited by their agent (Elizabeth Taylor) for a TV special. (8 p.m. Feb. 12, Channels 9, 2)

        7. Barbra Streisand Timeless: This is the reality we'd like to see more of on Fox: Barbra Streisand's 1999 New Year's Eve concert in Las Vegas. (8 p.m. Feb. 14, Channels 19, 45)

        8. Anna Karenia: Tolstoy's novel, shot on location in Poland, comes to life (with British accents, of course) on Exxon Mobil Masterpiece Theatre. (9 p.m. Feb. 18 and Feb. 25, Channels 48, 54, 16)

        9. Abraham and Mary Lincoln: A House Divided: Honest, Abe? The American Experience explores how Mary Lincoln's manic-depression impacted her husband's presidency in a six-hour documentary. (9 p.m. Feb. 19-21, Channels 48, 54, 16)

        10. Life With Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows: It's absolutely eerie how actress Judy Davis (Husbands and Wives, A Cooler Climate) nails the role as Judy Garland, who died at age 47 in 1969. (9 p.m. Feb. 25-26, Channels 9, 2)

Bottom 10 sweeps shows

        Here's my list of the Bottom 10 Stupidest Behavior Caught on Tape for February sweeps, which start Thursday:

        1. Surviving the Moment of Impact 3: A repeat of the kind of special Fox had promised to scrap last year (8 p.m. Thursday, Channels 19, 45)

        2. World's Nastiest Neighbors: UPN tries to out-fox Fox. (9 p.m. Friday, Channel 25)

        3. XFL: I bet Jay Leno is right: The WWF's new football league will be like “The Sopranos in helmets.” (8 p.m. Saturday, Channels 5, 22)

        4. Stupid Behavior Caught on Tape: Doesn't include Fox brain trust that comes up up with this garbage. (9 p.m. Feb. 8, Channels 19, 45)

        5. When Chefs Attack: America's Filthiest Restaurants: Suppose any fast-food chains will be buying advertising on UPN? (9 p.m. Feb. 9, Channel 25)

        6. Conspiracy Theory: Man on the Moon: Fox “investigates” theories that NASA faked the 1969 moon landing. It's really cheese, right? (9 p.m. Feb. 15, Channels 19, 45)

        7. Cheating Spouses Caught on Tape: Trust me, it won't be Meg Ryan or Jesse Jackson. (9 p.m. Feb. 16, Channel 25)

        8. The World's Worst Drivers Caught on Tape 3: When will this reality TV fad crash and burn? (8 p.m. Feb. 22, Channels 19, 45)

        8. Guilty or Innocent: DNA Tests Live: If DNA tests reveal some of Fox's “criminals behind bars” are not guilty, will they appeal their convictions to Judge Judy during May sweeps? (8-10 p.m. Friday, Feb. 23, Channels 19, 45)

        9. America's Most Wanted: Rock Stars in Trouble with the Law Special Edition: What's so special to Fox about sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll? (9 p.m. Feb. 24, Channels 19, 45)

        10. Surviving the Moment of Impact 4: Like when I smash my TV because of all this sleazy reality garbage? (9 p.m. Feb. 22, Channels 19, 45)

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