If you feel wind beneath your wings next time you drive away from a funeral home, don't be surprised.

        You've probably felt it, or heard it, before. Or some other lingering sign of mourning music gone pop.

        In a movement that began getting attention in the 1970s and continued to pick up steam in the 1990s, relatives of the deceased are turning from hymn books and classical composers to best-selling audio tapes and compact discs for paying-your-respects mood music.

        “You can walk into a funeral home today and have as much chance of hearing Elton John or Celine Dion as Bach or Beethoven,” said Kelly Smith, public relations director for the National Funeral Directors Association, Milwaukee.

TOP FUNERAL MUSIC

While domestic funeral directors have no statistics to demonstrate how thoroughly pop music has invaded the U.S. funeral ritual, their counterparts in Great Britain studied client music requests in 1997 and learned the 10 most popular songs there were (in order of preference):     • Candle in the Wind, Elton John     • The Best, Tina Turner     • My Way, Frank Sinatra     • Knockin' on Heaven's Door, Bob Dylan     • Every Step You Take, Police     • Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, Monty Python     • Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin     • Always on My Mind, Elvis Presley     • Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton     • Seasons in the Sun, Terry Jacks     Source: The National Funeral Directors Association

        “I bet I played Go Rest High on that Mountain (Vince Gill) at least 10 times last year,” says Cliff Hodapp, director at Hodapp Funeral Homes, Carthage, College Hill and West Chester. “And Bette Midler — Wind Beneath My Wings — is another big one.”

        “We just had one last night,” says Joel Terbrueggen, manager at Muehlenkamp Erschell Funeral Homes, Newport, Covington, Dayton, Erlanger, Ludlow, Hebron, Alexandria and Fort Thomas.

        “The family brought in a stack of CDs they wanted us to play.” The selections included tunes by popular country singers the Dixie Chicks. “The (deceased) girl was a fan.”

        For a viewing late last year, “the family brought in Broadway show tunes, and we played Phantom of the Opera,” Mr. Terbrueggen says. Again, the deceased was an avid fan.

        Mr. Smith says Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On has been a popular choice in American services.

        Choosing less conventional music for funerals and body viewings is part of a larger trend, “the most significant trend growing over the past two decades,” according to Mr. Smith, that has customers “seeking a very individualized and very personalized funeral service” for loved ones.

        Funeral directors, he says, do their best to accommodate special requests, sometimes representing the wishes of the deceased, sometimes their survivors, sometimes both.

        So far, “it's always been appropriate,” Mr. Hodapp says. “A meaningful song that maybe has to do with the person...I've never had hard rock or rap or anything like that.”

        He says he would not hesitate to counsel clients against music he considered out of line.

        Suffice it to say, Eminem is not on his play list.

        Mr. Terbrueggen says unconventional music is most often chosen for younger people being mourned, and more often for viewings than for funeral services. “If it's an older person, it doesn't happen too often.”

        “The deceased might be younger — though not necessarily younger — and it might be their song, or a song they liked or an artist they liked,” says Mr. Hodapp, who has started his own collection of most-requested music.

        For others, he says, “I know a couple of DJs,” and he borrows recordings from them.

        “Over the last couple of decades, there has been a changing consumer attitude about funerals,” Mr. Smith says. “More and more, we are seeing consumers who want to do funerals their way.”

        That has resulted in an increase in cremations, the use of family photo albums and collages to celebrate a life —— even a Harley-Davidson-styled casket.

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