Even though I'm not much of a reality television fan, I couldn't help tuning in the latest episode. Actually, I was so interested in the outcome that I arranged to go to the live performance.

        I am speaking, of course, of Survivor: The Cincinnati Backbiting.

        Every Wednesday in the brutally ugly but impressive Romanesque castle on Plum Street, Cincinnati's tribal council meets for the purpose of taping a television episode, which will be aired (over and over and over again) on CitiCable, Channel 23.

        It is a show much beloved by suburban residents who tune in occasionally when visiting city friends. To gloat. And to breathe a deep sigh of relief that their community is not governed by the players around the horseshoe in Cincinnati City Council chambers.

Must-see TV
        Before the advent of community access television, some council members actually spoke with one another at these meetings. But now, most of them address their remarks to the camera. In the continual battle for ratings — which in their case means votes — they have ramped up the theatrics to a level that must have Charlie Taft twirling in his grave.

        Most Wednesdays it is not a stretch to remember that this was the farm club for Jerry Springer.

        This week's episode was madly hyped. John Shirey, who has been hanging on by his toenails for months, lost the immunity challenge a day earlier when he was asked to jump through a series of hoops at a committee meeting, hosted by Councilwoman Alicia Reece.

        He was not required to eat a rat, although personally I think a nice, well-cooked rat might be a relief from a steady diet of crow. But in any case you need a very strong stomach to take part in these proceedings.

Not quick or merciful
        Council members are mostly very polite. So, it takes a while before you notice that they are calling each other liars and double-crossers. But it shortly became clear that Mr. Shirey was going to get the boot.

        Of course, they flayed him for a while first. Remember Susan in the original Survivor? At the final showdown, she called Richard a snake and Kelly a rat. Our players are far more subtle. Most of them talked about their personal anguish. “A tough decision for all of us,” Mayor Charlie Luken said. They called John Shirey “a good man.”

        Then they voted him out. Or, accepted his “involuntary resignation." (I told you this tribe was subtle.) The alliance du jour of Alicia Reece, Charlie Luken, Pat DeWine, John Cranley and Paul Booth voted to send the city manager packing Dec. 1.

        As any Survivor junkie knows, Mr. Shirey is allowed some Final Words. “I care very much about this city,” he said. “There's going to be a lot of talk about how tough this was for council. I hope it is not overlooked that it was very tough for me.”

        As sweeps week approaches — the November election — we might expect increasingly dramatic episodes on Survivor: The Cincinnati Backbiting. Charges of deceit and corruption and yes, even murder. Cincinnati, a famously civil and beautiful city — rich with history and blessed with an unusual array of cultural attractions — will be seen on television as a war zone. A barren island. A wild, unpredictable outpost. A place ruled by ruthless cabals.

        It will make for very invigorating and intriguing television.

        Of course, you wouldn't want to go there in person.

       E-mail Laura at lpulfer@enquirer.com or call 768-8393.

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