If you're single in Cincinnati, life stinks.

        Even singles in Columbus, Indianapolis and Cleveland have it better than you. What's more, “people leave here to go to Louisville.”

        Says who?

        Forbes.com magazine, the online and print sister of the venerable business and finance magazine.

SINGLES CITIES

“Sorry, Cincinnati,” says Forbes.com magazine. Here are the best places for singles to live, as ranked by the magazine: 1. Washington, D.C./Baltimore 2. Miami 3. Chicago 4. Los Angeles 5. Atlanta 6. San Francisco/Oakland 7. Houston 8. New York 9. Dallas/Fort Worth 10. Philadelphia 11. San Diego 12. Denver/Boulder 13. Minneapolis/St. Paul 14. St. Louis 15. Austin, Texas 15. Boston 17. Seattle 18. New Orleans 19. Raleigh/Durham, N.C. 20. Orlando, Fla. 21. Phoenix 22. Columbus 23. Tampa, Fla. 24. Milwaukee 25. San Antonio 26. Las Vegas 27. Detroit 28. Nashville, Tenn. 29. Norfolk, Va. 30. Sacramento, Calif. 31. Portland, Ore. 32. Charlotte, N.C. 33. Indianapolis 34. Cleveland 35. Kansas City, Mo. 36. Salt Lake City 37. Providence, R.I. 38. Greensboro/Winston-Salem, N.C. 39. Pittsburgh 40. Cincinnati

        Forbes.com looked at leading indicators — such as the cost of pizza and a six-pack of Heineken — to rank the singles scene in the 40 most populous metro areas in the country.

        No. 1? Washington D.C./Baltimore. No. 40? You guessed it, the Queen City.

        Forbes.com considered things that are important to single life — how many singles there are, cost of living, opportunities for having fun, eating out, job-advancement prospects. Then it added some subjective ideas writers and editors had about the cities. That part was called “the buzz.”

        “We had a meeting about one week ago with 15 editors and writers and went down the list after the data had been sorted,” said Forbes.com writer Davide Dukcevich. “We voted on each city in terms of the perceptions of that city,” although he admitted few of them had been to all the metro areas ranked.

        “Two things really killed it for Cincinnati: the unrest and the high cost of living. It didn't excel in any” of the categories mentioned.

        For example, while Cincinnati ranked 30 out of a possible 40 score for its uncharacteristically high cost of living (for a mid-size city). Columbus ranked 13th while New York ranked 38th.
       

What it said
        Forbes.com compared quality of life for singles to one of Procter & Gamble's products, saying the city is as “bland and inoffensive as the Ivory Soap it produces.”

        Writer Anna Rohleder said dining out “most likely means chowing down at a chain eatery where other diners have put on the good sweat pants for the occasion.”

        She gave Cincinnati credit for holding fast to its values and having respectable high-culture institutions — noting the art museum, ballet and opera. But she said the city lacks creative energy. There are few places for singles and the city is expensive, she said.

        Then, after her commentary she said, “All this without even mentioning the recent race riots.” Forbes.com called this its “first annual” report which seems to imply Cincinnati will get another chance next year.
       

How it was done
        Are you impressed or aghast?

        Well, here are the specifics on how Forbes.com formed the rankings that put Cincinnati at the bottom of the pile:

        • The new census statistics were a start.

        • AOL Digital City counted the number of nightclubs, bars and restaurants in each city.

        • Digital City and Montreal's McGill University added up the number of museums, sports teams, university populations and live-actor theaters.

        • Woods & Poole Economics in Washington, D.C., projected job growth over the next five years.

        • Economic researchers at ACCRA in Arlington, Va., estimated how expensive it is to be single in each city — based on the cost of renting an apartment, buying pizza, getting movie tickets and buying a six-pack of Heineken.

        • Then the staff's buzz was factored in.

        On a 1-to-40 scale, where 1 is the best, here are Cincinnati's summary rankings: singles, 25; night life, 38; cultural, 31; job growth: 29; cost of living alone, 30; buzz factor, thumbs down.
       

What it means
        So does this mean singles should renew their library cards, wear out their On Demand cable remote button and invest in DVDs?

        Some people responded with “told you so.”

        Many, who actually live (and thrive) in Cincinnati's singles scene, dismiss Forbes.com's thumbs down decision on our town.

        “I don't agree with it,” says Derek Johnson, manager of Electra in Over-the-Rhine. “There are a lot of singles out there and our club caters to a predominantly single crowd.

        “I see people meeting and connecting every night. It is difficult to meet people, but that's anywhere. If you go to the right place and hang with the right people, singles shouldn't have any problem meeting other singles.” If anyone could judge whether Forbes.com was on the mark, it might be Nadine Allen. After all, she is a Hamilton County municipal court judge.

        “I have a lot of friends here,” she said. “I like to go anywhere I can laugh, eat and talk. When I go out, all my married friends include me in their activities. I always have an escort to anything I go to. If somebody's not doing what they want to do, they need to find another set of friends.”

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