Monday, June 25, 2001
The Success Coach
Focusing energy brings happiness
By Michael Crom
Gannett News Service
Question: I am having issues in my workplace. Our department is set up as a team and therefore, we are all considered to be on the same level. There are five of us in the department and I am the newest member. Since I joined I have been mistreated by three of the team members. They formed somewhat of a clique and treat me as an outcast. It's gotten so bad that I feel I have to quit and find a new job. I am constantly angry during the day and I'm beginning to come home that way. Adam.
Answer: It sounds as though you have a right to be angry. On the other hand, anger doesn't do you or the world any good. Instead of wasting your energy on your anger, try focusing yourself in an opposite direction. Cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness with the following strategies:
Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope. You are calm, you can get through this, and it might be a crucial moment in your life that steers you to new are nas. If you continue to hold your head high and present a public face of peacefulness, your friends and co-workers will respect you and likely they will eventually realize that your team members' attitude is inappropriate.
Never try to get even with your enemies. I think we all have someone we'd like to get even with in our lives, but it isn't worth it. Revenge is likely to be less than satisfying when you realize you've done exactly what you despise.
Create happiness for others. There are many opportunities to do good in the world. Instead of focusing on your anger, take some time to work at a local homeless shelter or adult daycare center. When one friend of mine found herself out of work and emotionally drained, she decided to cheer herself up by writing letters to all her relatives and friends, mentioning something she really appreciated about them. Some told her it was the best gift they'd ever received.
Michael Crom is executive vice president at Dale Carnegie Training (www.dalecarnegie.com). E-mail him at carnegiecoach@dalecarnegie.com
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