Question: I keep hearing that the way to get ahead in the business world is to be outgoing and to network. I am concerned because, many times, I like to keep to myself and tend to shy away from groups. I'm just not the type to go out and introduce myself to people. Can someone like me make the necessary contacts in the business world or should I resign myself to not moving up the corporate ladder?

        Answer: In our society, we love to point to the outgoing personalities and say they are the ones who will get ahead in the world. However, the quieter personalities have just as much going for them, if not more. The reason? People like you are willing to analyze your situation and determine how you want to act instead of merely bristling your way through a crowd. In fact, many a loner has gone on to reach high levels of management because he or she sincerely made lasting friendships. I'd recommend the following tactics:

        1. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. People naturally feel friendly toward you if you've made the effort to remember this one important fact about them. And, because you took the effort, they'll likely feel you're already a friend.

        2. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. This is where your quiet nature becomes an advantage. People love to talk about themselves. All you have to do is ask a few leading questions, and most people will keep the conversation going themselves.

        3. Become genuinely interested in other people. Being a good listener is important, but the next step to keeping up the relationship is to really care about these people. Remember things about their personal lives or their jobs, and sincerely show you care.

        4. Don't criticize, condemn or complain, no matter how difficult the situation. A negative attitude rarely takes you very far. Just give people and situations the benefit of the doubt. If you're caught in the middle of a complaint session and asked for your opinion, try taking a neutral attitude such as, “It takes all kinds of people to make a successful business.”

        Michael Crom is an executive vice president at Dale Carnegie. If you have business-related questions or would like advice on workplace issues, visit www.dalecarnegie.com, or e-mail carnegiecoach@dalecarnegie.com.

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