Jesse Ware has a batch of complaints about TV weathercasters. Actually, he has tons of complaints, right now, as we speak.

        For the past few months, the 75-year-old Mount Lookout resident has been jotting down the silly syntax heard during the weather segments on Channels 5, 9, 12 and 19.

        Some samples:

        • “Sunshine outside right now” (as opposed to the sunshine inside?)

        • “Tons of clouds are moving in” (how do you weigh clouds?)

        • “A few showers out there today” (rather than in here?)

        • “A batch of clouds moving in” (exactly how much is a batch?)

        Mr. Ware doesn't have a batch of English degrees. He's a retired construction company owner and World War II veteran.

        “I'm no expert on English,” he says. “I'm a businessman, and I know what's right and wrong.”

        Especially when he hears:

        • “Ice pellets are falling out of the sky” (instead of coming up through the ground?)

        • “A bunch of snow” (how much is a bunch?)

        • “A wet snowflake” (rather than a dry one?)

        • “Temperatures will nose dive on down” (could they nose dive up?)

        We chatted about his list during the noon news the other day. He was watching Channel 9, and paused to hear the weather forecast.

        “I just heard five "right nows' in two sentences,” he says.

        That's a batch. Or a bunch.

        He has a bunch of other pet peeves, too:

        • “Not out of the question” (who asked a question?)

        • “As we speak” (who's we? Only the weathercaster was talking!)

        • “Right now, outside” (of course!)

        • “Nice day . . . Nice night . . . Nice day tomorrow” (How nice?)
       Everybody talks about the weather. Mr. Ware has tried to do something about it.

        Once he counted a female Channel 5 weathercaster say the word “actually” 21 times during her weather presentation. So he called the station and complained.

        Someone from Channel 5 called back and said: “You're wrong. We watched the tape, and she actually said "actually' 22 times!”

        Another time he heard a Channel 9 weather reporter use the phrase “a little bit” five times in one forecast. Isn't that a little bit too much?

        • “The rain will be wrapping up” (Who wrapped it up?)

        • “There were clouds overhead today” (as opposed to clouds on the ground?)

        • “The sun will break out” (Was it locked up?)

        • “A good shellacking of rain tomorrow” (Is that somewhere between a bunch and a ton?)

        • “Chilly winds coming in will make the wind chilly” (duh!)

        Sounds like the temperature could nose dive on down.

        “What kind of schooling have these people had? No wonder kids are like they are today, having to listen to talk like this,” Mr. Ware says.

        “The weather people just murder the language, they really do.”

        No question at all. Mr. Ware actually has a ton of complaints. Right now, as we speak, actually.

        E-mail jkiesewetter@enquirer.com. Past columns at Enquirer.com/columns/kiese

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