Try counting all the images flashing on the TV screen during a commercial. It's impossible.

        Try counting to four before the images change on any commercial. It's impossible.

        Try counting all the ways the world would be different without MTV, which celebrates its 20th birthday today. That's an awesome task, too.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, David Lee Roth, Paula Abdul, M.C. Hammer, the Spice Girls, Devo, Duran Duran or Men without Hats.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't know what John Cougar Mellencamp's “Little Pink Houses” looked like. Music would still simply be an aural experience, as it had been since the words “rock” and “roll” meant something about moving a boulder.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have known whether Bill Clinton wore boxers or briefs.

        Without MTV, Eric Clapton and dozens of other artists would never have been Unplugged.

No VJs
       

        Without MTV, Risky Business, Wild Wild West and other feature films wouldn't have a three-minute promotional rock 'n' roll film aired for free on the channel seen in 77 million U.S. households.

        Without MTV, “VJ” would mean the end of World War II — not Martha Quinn, Downtown Julie Brown or Funkmaster Flex.

        Without MTV airing Bruce Springsteen's 1984 “Dancing in the Dark” video, Courteney Cox Arquette wouldn't have any Friends.

        Without MTV, a boy toy would be something made by Kenner.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have Michael Jackson's 14-minute “Thriller,” which elevated music video to an art form.

        Without MTV, Sugar Ray would be a boxer.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have the MTV Networks (MTV, Nickelodeon/Nick at Nite, TV Land, TNN, VH1, MTV2, CMTV) reaching 357 million U.S. homes.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have kids making a Jackass of themselves trying to imitate dangerous stunts.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have Michael Jackson's “Beat It,” Madonna's “Like a Virgin,” or Offspring's “Pretty Fly (for a White Guy).” And we wouldn't have Weird Al Yankovic's “Eat It,” “Like A Sturgeon” or “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi.”

No money for nothing
       

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have VH1, BET on Jazz, Much Music, Great American Country or Country Music Television.

        Without MTV, Remote Control sidekick Adam Sandler wouldn't be a Big Daddy at the box office.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't know that people in Dire Straits would get money for nothing and the chicks for free. “That's the way you do it. You play the guitar on the MTV.”

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have so many little material girls dressed like Britney Spears, and millions of kids wearing GAP, Nike and Old Navy. Does the “M” in MTV stand for Music or Marketing?

        Without MTV's crass pyro pals, Beavis & Butt-head, we wouldn't have South Park.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have Miami Vice, a concept pitched by NBC to producer Michael Mann in two words: MTV Cops.

        Without MTV, spring break wouldn't be a TV spectator sport.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have Boy George, Billy Idol, Tabitha Soren, Adam Curry, Mariah Carey, Whitesnake, Green Day and the Thompson Twins.

Staying dressed
       

        Without MTV, teens wouldn't get Undressed, the cheesey soap opera about promiscuity and lesbianism.

        Without MTV, Billy Joel's “Uptown Girl” would have looked different in everyone's imagination, not like Christie Brinkley.

        Without MTV, our concept of TV reality would be different. Without The Real World on MTV since 1992, we wouldn't have Survivor or Temptation Island.

        Without MTV's mean-spirited pranksters like Tom Green and Jackass, we wouldn't have NBC's sleazy Spy TV or Fear Factor.

        Without MTV's Road Rules competition, we wouldn't have The Mole and new fall shows like Lost and The Amazing Race.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have seen the Live Aid concert live from two continents for 17 hours in 1985, a day we could truly say, “We are the world.”

        Without MTV, Jenny McCarthy wouldn't have been Singled Out for stardom.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have seen The Original Kings of Comedy and other MTV Films like Varsity Blues, Save the Last Dance, 2Gether and Beavis & Butt-head Do America.

        Without MTV, a flock of seagulls would be just a flock of seagulls.

        Without MTV, millions of teen girls wouldn't be swooning over the Backstreet Boys, 98`, 'NSync or Carson Daly.

        Without MTV, rapper Marky Mark wouldn't be starring in Planet of the Apes and MTV personality Ananda Lewis wouldn't be hosting a syndicated weekday talk show next month on WCPO-TV.

        Without MTV, Viacom International wouldn't have 343 million MTV households worldwide to promote MTV Films, MTV Books, MTV concert tours, Paramount Pictures, Simon & Schuster publications, theme parks and other properties.

        Without MTV, we wouldn't have the Macarena.

        Without MTV, watching videos would mean looking at camcorder pictures from your mother's birthday party.

        Contact John Kiesewetter by phone: 768-8519; fax: 768-8330; e-mail: jkiesewetter@enquirer.com.

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