Frozen pie crust is a reasonable shortcut to creating homemade pastries. Bagged lettuce is an acceptable — albeit expensive — alternative to washing, tearing and mixing your own greens.

        But there is convenience food, and then there is“lazy food” — over-packaged products that pander to our desire to save a few minutes and minuscule effort. Convenience food helps us get meals together in a pinch, lazy food is usually a silly rip-off.

        Is America turning soft? These products could be warning signs.

        • Pepperidge Farm Texas Toast ($2.29 or about 29 cents per slice): Yeah, we need pricey frozen bread because making “homemade” Texas toast is terribly difficult and time-consuming: Smear butter or margarine on thick slice of bread. Sprinkle with garlic powder. Broil three minutes. (Actually, this premade Texas Toast takes 4 to 5 minutes to bake from its frozen state.)

        • Louis Rich Chicken Breast Strips ($3.39 per 6 ounces): OK, many of us may not have time to roast chicken. But for goodness sakes, can't we at least slice our own? (Then at least we might be sure it's really chicken.)

        • Smucker's Uncrustables ($2.49 or about 62 cents per sandwich): A few parents tell me these frozen, crustless peanut butter and jam sandwiches fill a legitimate need because some kids refuse to eat bread crust. My solution: Make the sandwich yourself, cut off the crust. Or even better: Get over the crust aversion, kids.

        • P.J. Squares ($2.99 or about 30 cents per slice): In case you haven't seen this innovation, loosely based on that ancient lazy food, sliced American cheese, P.J. Squares are individually wrapped slices — peanut butter on one side, grape (or strawberry) on the other. (By the way, should we worry the manufacturer describes the ingredient as “grape” or “juice” — not jam or jelly?) Considering this product and the Uncrustables, there is undoubtedly a growing market for slothful parents who can't make the simplest of sandwiches for their children.

        • Pillsbury Ready to Bake Cookies ($2.79 or about 14 cents per cookie): Remember when you had to spend all that time slicing the premixed dough into cookie shapes and then washing the gooey stuff off the knife? Yuck! Now, as this packaging boasts, you only have to “place and bake.” Soon, maybe they'll package the cookies on a disposable baking pan. That way, we won't have to place.

        • Chicken of the Sea Tuna Salad Kit ($2.99 or about 75 cents per serving): This satisfies lazy cooks at several levels: They don't have to track down mayonnaise and onions at the grocery (the tuna salad kit comes with mayonnaise and “dried vegetable blend” in separate pouches). They don't have to chop onions. And, they don't have to open cans. (Even the tuna comes in a tearable pouch.)

        • Oscar Mayer Ready-to-Serve Bacon ($2.89 or about 21 cents per slice): Some of us believe there's more to the bacon experience than just eating. Sizzling in a pan, you can hear and smell the bacon, adding to the anticipation of eating it. Perhaps cooking bacon brings back fond memories of family breakfasts. But on the other hand, maybe you just want to get the bacon into your mouth as easily and quickly as possible. Forget the microwaving, maybe you want to eat the bacon cold and rubbery, right out of the cellophane sack. If so, this product is for you.

        • Prego Pasta Bake Sauce ($2.49 or about 31 cents per serving): This one's way over the lazy line. Prego geniuses have concocted a jarred sauce that can be mixed with uncooked pasta and baked. (Gee, is that why you have to stir a jar of water into the sauce and pasta?) Finally, we have a product designed for people too lazy to boil water.

       Contact Chuck Martin by phone: 768-8507; fax: 768-8330; e-mail: cmartin@enquirer.com.

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