QUESTION: I am a working mother of two small children. I am extremely dedicated to my job but find that at times I cannot focus on all my duties because my children require my attention. It is extremely difficult in the spring because as parents, we are invited to school events: end-of-year shows, recitals, picnics, etc. I really want to attend these school functions but feel that my boss may not support my choices and it could end up hurting my career. I cannot afford to be a stay-at-home mom. How can I feel less guilty and maintain more balance?

        ANSWER: First of all, congratulations on how much you have accomplished so far. It is a constant, daily challenge to run a household with small children and maintain a high level of productive in the workplace.

        Most employers today understand how important a good work environment is to attracting and retaining good employees. You've also discovered what we at Dale Carnegie Training call “The New Business Reality: Get more done, better, faster, with less.”

        Employees' personal lives are important to a company. A rested, happy, well-rounded individual will provide more creative solutions to problems and will get more done in his or her time at work.

        We would advise you to sit down with your boss and discuss your situation with him/her:

        • Talk in terms of the other person's interests: Explain to your boss how you really want to be productive to the company. You need to share with your boss how dedicated you are to the company, to its goals and to fulfilling your part of the company's objectives.

        • Work on the solution together: In discussing your challenges with your boss, you may find there's a solution that you can achieve by changing some of your work hours or by recuperating some of the lost hours (when you need to attend your children's school functions) at other times. You may find that if your boss and company truly value you, they may want to work with you in trying to eliminate some of your stress and guilt.

        • Decide how much anxiety something may be worth and refuse to give it more: Once you work out a solution with your boss, you'll need to realize that balancing work life and family life is a daily task. Sometimes, you'll need to go with the flow and not impose too much stress by worrying about over-hectic schedules.

        These are just a few of the ideas we've seen other working mothers come up with for helping to balance their work and family lives. Your situation may be different, but in collaboration and in discussion with your company, you may find a solution that can work for both of you.

        Michael Crom is executive vice president, Dale Carnegie Training. For advice on other workplace issues, visit www.dalecarnegie.com or e-mail carnegiecoach@dalecarnegie.com.

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