The top five
       

        1. Elder: The purple people have bought up 30,000 tickets the past two weeks to watch high school football. Nowhere are people as passionate about sports as on the West Side.

        2. Mark McGwire: He went out with class — and without a farewell tour. It's nice to see someone not chase records and dollars.

        3. The Bengals: For almost sparing us the halftime shows by the marching bands for the high school doubleheader. We knew a guy who's idea of hell was showing up for a football game and all he saw was a continuous halftime show.

        4. Montreal: For making no effort to fight contraction. Apathetic 'til the end, and we love you for it. Now Vlad can go somewhere where they care about baseball.

        5. College basketball: Now that the season has started, there's something to watch on ESPN again — other than all the new goofy shows. By the way, Unscripted, needs to be scripted or canceled. It's pretty weak.

       The bottom five
       

        1. Baseball: Great, the courts are already involved in the contraction thing. A long, ugly legal fight is just what we need to heat up the hot stove league.

        2. The Great Sod Controversy: As a media outlet, we take some responsibility for this story gaining momentum. But the fact is, nobody really cares. It's grass for goodness sakes.

        3. UK: Losing to Western Kentucky. At home! Now you know why Adolph Rupp didn't schedule in-state schools. No good can come from it. You win, and it's not by enough. You lose, and, well, you lose.

        4. UCLA: Its star running back, DeShaun Foster, is done for the season because it was determined he received an extra benefit, an NCAA violation. Its quarterback, Cory Paus, is playing despite a DUI conviction this summer.

        5. Steve Bellisari: The Ohio State quarterback was suspended indefinitely Friday after being arrested for drunken driving. Some might argue that's a good thing for the Buckeyes.

Sports Stories

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