Monday, January 21, 2002

In My Life


A first-rate example of a bad first date

By Jami Yearion
Enquirer contributor

        Being 23, I have had my share of first dates. Some good, some bad, some memorable. However, a recent first date was in a class all its own — one with just a few dating no-no's.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
img Jami Yearion, 23, Finneytown, is a senior at the University of Cincinnati, majoring in communications.
        I met my date, through a friend, at a bar. My personal dating no-no is to not date a guy I meet at a bar. But I met him through a friend; he seemed down to earth.

        To understand the breadth of my encounter, I am going to judge the date on a 100-point scale. He started with 100.

        He called me the day after we met, and we made plans to go to dinner. I suggested an Italian place in Montgomery, but he insisted a place on Short Vine had good Italian food. I met him there, and after walking into the restaurant/bar, I giggled that this was his choice for a first date (-10, 90 points). But I stifled my disappointment, as we ate at the bar (-5, 85).

        He behaved like a gentleman. Conversation was going smoothly. We had a lot in common. After dinner, he wanted me to meet a friend who owned a shop across the street.

        Being on Short Vine, I assumed it would be a tattoo parlor. But no. He took me to a porn shop (-25, 60).

        My eyes became best friends with the ceramic tile floor. I could not help but notice that all of the clerks knew my date on a first-name basis. (-20, 40)

        I was overcome by the humor in this, yet I had to give him credit for not hiding anything from me, or being embarrassed (+10, 50). Then, he pointed out the videos that he liked to rent, and told me about some of the “artifacts” in the store. (-10, back to 40).

        Let me remind you, this is a true story.

        Finally, we left. I gave him credit for being out of the ordinary (+15, 55) and decided to try to make the most of this night.

        Sitting at the next bar, he showed off his hidden piercing. Remember how I gave him points for not hiding anything from me? I take it back, subtracting extra points for being inappropriate (-25, 30).

        After the depth of conversation so far, I felt that it was up to me to talk about something more intellectual.

        I'm in college. He's a Bearcat grad (+40, 70). Maybe he could give me pointers on finding a job after graduation.

        He told me about the job that paid for his college. He and a few fraternity buddies worked for an escort service! (-25, 45)

        Again, I have only known this guy for one day. He's telling me way more than I need to know.

        Oh, but there's more.

        Now sensing disapproval, he reassured me that he did not sleep with all the women he escorted — only about 60 (-60, -25 points).

        There's no point to a point system now, is there?

        I was so flabbergasted that I burst out laughing. I was expecting Candid Camera to jump out.

        In all fairness, I did respect his honesty. But, with all of those no-no's, I don't believe that I could say yes to a second date.

        Share recent moments in your life: Fax: In My Life, 768-8330; e-mail: mpulfer@enquirer.com.

       



'Beautiful Mind' sweeps the Globes
Big media shoot-out at the Bill O'Reilly corral
Online chat about medications
What are you using Cinergy seats for?
Get to it
Revised wind chill index designed to give us the cold facts
- A first-rate example of a bad first date
Snowboarding lifts off
Firming up breast tissue takes discipline
Fit Bits
Suicide Machines' cookie-cutter punk