While cleaning out all the tangled paper clips, petrified mustard packets, eraserless pencil stubs and unidentified prescription drugs from my desk in the editorial department, I came across a drawer of leftover opinions that need to be used before their “freshness date” expires.

        Caution: These opinions may cause elevated blood pressure, dizziness and spilled coffee. Do not use while operating heavy equipment.

        • What a riot: Bill Cosby can't find his sense of humor so he's boycotting Cincinnati. But O.J. Simpson is coming March 2 for a hip-hop concert at Music Hall. Organizer Anthony Pierre says the show will promote “healing.” Sure. About as healing as a house call from Dr. Kevorkian.

        A guy who got away with murder by playing the race card is a ludicrous choice to “promote peace.” Healing is a two-way street — but some people are blocking both lanes.

        • Boycott bushwa: Cincinnati is launching a PR campaign against the boycott. What took so long? Leaders of Cincinnati Action Now should have condemned the lies that police are murderers and rapists — and that 15 black men have died in “supremely suspicious” circumstances. Most were bank robbers or drug thugs killed in shootouts with cops. The only thing supremely suspicious is the boycott.

        • Censored on ABC: Why are the networks and the New York Times refusing to report that one possible reason John Walker ran off and joined the Taliban is that his own father ran off with another man? The story (Google search “Lindh and gay”) was published in the San Francisco Examiner and the Weekly Standard, which said, “It is far from unreasonable to speculate that a 16-year-old boy might have been thrown into psychological turmoil by such a thing.”

        Maybe that explains why he suddenly dropped his father's name (Lindh), wrote e-mails hostile to gays, joined the most extreme sect of a religion that hates homosexuality, and won't even look at his parents in court.

        It's no excuse for terrorism. But gay writer Michelangelo Signorile says it is “absolutely relevant,” because, “If Lindh had left his wife for another woman and his son were traumatized, it would certainly be discussed in the media. So if Lindh did leave his wife for a man and it affected Walker, it should similarly be reported on. That would be treating homosexuality and heterosexuality equally, rather than relegating one to the level of a dirty little secret.”

        Good point. So why do some liberals yell “homophobe” if you bring it up?

        • Desperately seeking scandals: Now that Enron is enrunning out of gas, there's a new scandal in the White House.

        According to a book by New York Times reporter Frank Bruni, President George W. Bush does not know who Leonardo DiCaprio is, and drew a blank when asked about the TV show Sex and the City. In a video of his presidential campaign, he is seen “drinking a nonalcoholic beer with the gusto of a man who has downed the real thing in his day,” according to Time magazine. Tsk, tsk.

        The Bushster is a bummer for the press corps. Drinking a near beer is no match for Oval Office phone sex. Not knowing the star of Titanic is pretty lame compared with not knowing the definition of “is.”

        But if Mr. Bush would publicly say he doesn't know or care who Bill Cosby is, his popularity could top 100 percent — in Cincinnati.

       Contact Peter Bronson at pbronson@enquirer.com. Cincinnati.Com keyword: Bronson.

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