Music award show season is in full swing, with statues of various sizes handed out to the country's top stars. Most of those awards are given to those who perform the music for today's children and teen audience.

        Parents who have no idea who Ja Rule, Limp Bizkit and BBMak are should watch this year's Grammys, Soul Train and MTV Music award shows to understand what music revolves around their children's world.

        Just as babyboomers had their rebellious music, their kids now lip-sync words we'd never say in front of our parents. With many lyrics liberally sprinkled with profanity and sexually-charged suggestions, how can parents balance their morals with their child's need to express the times of their lives?

        John Murray, a Kansas State University developmental psychology professor, says parents may not understand the lyrics, but they don't have to feel completely helpless either.

        “Parents often throw up their hands and say "I just can't always turn off the radio or monitor what they're listening to,”' Dr. Murray said in a release from LifeWire News Services. “And they're absolutely right, they can't.

        “We can complain as individuals and as a group, and we can express concern. But until there is a major outpouring of official concern, such as the report issued by the Surgeon General's office as a follow-up to the Columbine massacre, something that suggests "There's something wrong here and we need to address it,' little change will be seen in the promotion of violence — usually violence directed against women and girls.”

        “It would be good if the lyrics weren't fantasy; if there were real consequences to the sexual behavior asserted in the lyrics and an understanding of the real problems and risks involved with that behavior,” Dr. Murray says. “Also, the issue of violence against women that infuses some rap and other popular music is an issue that needs to be addressed by both male and female artists.

        “But that's not what comes across in entertainment.”

        Dr. Murray recommends parents initiate a discussion on lyrics and their real-life connection to consequences without being judgmental. Express values and concerns about what the child is listening to. For younger children, set rules and limits and talk about why they are in place.

        “These things do have an effect on your child; the message does get across by talking to your youngster,” Dr. Murray says. “Your child will think "Maybe this isn't as cool as it could be. I kind of like doing it but I feel guilty about it.'

        “These are easy things that parents can do,” Dr. Murray said. “They can't be everywhere but they can just plant the seed that this isn't the thing to do and that there are other ways to establish relationships and live in this world.”

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