They run to the phone every time it rings.

        Da-da! Da-da! Da-da!

        It's not Daddy, not this time, Lisa Cox tells her 22-month-old triplets, Nicholas, Hannah and Simeon.

        They know he calls almost every day. But the blond, blue-eyed toddlers are too young to understand why he is gone so much, or why they must listen to his voice on a speaker phone.

        Someday, they'll understand everything: their parents' fervent wish to have children; the fear that it might never happen; the rejoicing when it did; and the sadness their family felt when their father was called away because of a war on terrorism.

MP at Fort Bragg

Lisa Cox holds a picture of her husband and her 22-month-old triplets (from left): Simeon, Nicholas and Hannah. (Dick Swaim photo) | ZOOM |

        Sgt. 1st Class Allan Cox is a 47-year-old member of the Kentucky Army National Guard. On Oct. 8 he and other members of the Louisville-based 198th Military Police Battalion left their homes to help secure the home front.

        Sgt. Cox's unit handles base security at Fort Bragg, N.C., fulfilling the duties of MPs sent overseas. He is beginning the sixth month of a year-long assignment.

        “I know he misses me,” Mrs. Cox says. “But our focus is on (the children) right now. He is afraid he's going to miss so much.”

        In Westwood, a “God Bless America” sign hangs in the front window, next to a U.S. flag. Mrs. Cox sits on the living room floor, near a plastic slide and books and stuffed animals.

        Nicholas, Hannah and Simeon, all in denim coveralls, stand on upholstered chairs, squealing with delight. Nick starts jumping, as if he's on a trampoline. Simeon joins in. Then Hannah.

        “Allan loves to tell people we met in jail,” Mrs. Cox says, smiling. She's a paralegal for the law firm Waite, Schneider, Bayless & Chesley. He's a corrections officer for the Hamilton County Sheriff's Department, and joined the National Guard in 1983 when he lived in Louisville.

Eighth pregnancy

        They married in July 1990. Six months later Allan was called to serve in Desert Storm, the military operation to drive Iraqi forces out of Kuwait. He spent five months in Saudi Arabia, assigned to a POW camp.

        The year after he returned, the couple decided to start a family.

        Mrs. Cox's first pregnancy ended with a miscarriage. Also the second, and the third. The Coxes saw a fertility specialist, who ordered a battery of tests and blood work.

        More miscarriages followed. It got so Mrs. Cox could hardly bring herself to go to a baby shower or to see a pregnant woman.

        The couple considered their options. Adoption was a possibility. But they decided first to try in-vitro fertilization.

        Six weeks into Mrs. Cox's eighth pregnancy, they learned she was carrying triplets. They were ecstatic, but apprehensive. Mrs. Cox needed twice-a-day shots, special medicine, frequent blood work.

        Mrs. Cox gave birth May 12, 2000, eight years after she and her husband began trying to have a baby. The triplets were 12 weeks premature, but healthy. Hannah, who weighed 3 pounds, 6 ounces, stayed in the hospital until late June; Nicholas, at 2 pounds, 2 ounces and Simeon, 1 pound, 12 ounces, came home in early July.

Two years from retirement

Allan Cox

        Mrs. Cox describes her husband as “my fourth child,” and laughs. He's 6-foot-5, 240 pounds, and loves having his kids hang all over him. Sometimes they sit on his back while he does push-ups.

        He was two years from retiring from the National Guard. Then came Sept. 11, followed by word of a deployment.

        Mrs. Cox says she felt “like I'd been hit in the stomach. It's scary, because you never know where he's going, what he's going to have to do, how long it will be.”

        The Coxes hoped for a deployment to Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport. Fort Bragg is a nine-hour drive, but infinitely preferable to an assignment in Afghanistan. Sgt. Cox has been home five times since October, including a few days at Thanksgiving and Christmas. In May, the children's birthday falls on Mother's Day.

        “I will be home for that,” he vows, over the phone from Fort Bragg.

Growing pains

        The room where he's staying has a framed floral print. About half of it is covered with photos of his kids.

        Asked about being away from his family, he pauses.

        “It's a difficult time,” he finally says. “Being away from them hurts because I miss a lot of the growing up. Right now they're growing by leaps and bounds.”

        He savors the occasional long weekends home.

Amber Letts, nanny to the triplets, plays with them on a typical morning in their Westwood home. | ZOOM |

        “The toughest part is when it's time for me to leave,” he says. “We're very careful how we do that. I always leave when (the children) are awake.”

        He leaves them in good hands.

        “She is doing one fabulous job,” Sgt. Cox says of his wife. Her husband's absence sometimes hits Mrs. Cox hard. She misses their quiet time together after the children fall asleep. She misses his daily afternoon call to her at work. He wasn't there a couple of weeks ago when their 12-year-old dog had to be put to sleep.

        She gets help from a 22-year-old nanny, Amber Letts. Other support comes from her church, Cheviot United Methodist, her workplace, and Tristate Multiples, a club for mothers of triplets and more.

        Like many families affected by the war on terrorism, the Coxes wish for a return to normalcy, knowing it won't happen soon.

        “I'm getting through one day at a time,” Mrs. Cox says.

        She watches Hannah roam the living room holding a framed photo of her father in his military uniform.

        “Give Da-da a hug?” Mrs. Cox says.

        Hannah goes one better. She kisses the picture.

        Seven more months. Too early to start counting the days, Mrs. Cox says.

        “October seems so far away to me.”

A mom's lonely tour of duty
Insatiable shopper
'ME!', the magazine for fortysomething moms
'Woman in Mind' captures soul
On the Fridge
Get to it