The top five

        1. The Bengals. Man, what, two, three free agent signings? Bringing back Scott Covington. And now another bountiful draft — well, that's what we hear. It's apparent that Mike Brown's 12-year plan is about to come to fruition.

        2. The Jimy Williams five-man infield. Give the other side credit; it was a gutsy move that the crusty old Houston Astros manager pulled out of his bag of tricks when the Reds had the bases loaded with one out in the 10th inning of a tie game Thursday. And it saved the game. Until, of course ... (And just think how jealous Abner DoubleBoone was that he couldn't do that first).

        3. Mel Kiper. Of course he's annoying. And that hair ... But let's face it, he's laughing all the way to the bank. Give the man credit: He started an entire cottage industry. (See Jones, Jerry).

        4. The Cincinnati/Kansas City/Omaha/Sacramento Royals (Kings). Hey, the NBA playoffs are here, and we Cincinnatians need someone to claim. What, you think we'd root for the Pacers?

        5. The NHL playoffs. How great is it that they play nearly seven months to determine home-ice advantage, and it doesn't matter? In their openers, eighth seeds Vancouver and Montreal beat top seeds Detroit and Boston. No wonder the Stanley Cup is the toughest championship in sports to win.

The bottom five

        1. The PGA Tour. It's nothing personal, but wake us up for the next event Tiger plays.

        2. The new souvenir cups at Cinergy Field. So, let's see: You're sitting back, watching the game, enjoying a tasty Pepsi product, when suddenly, Wham! A huge wrecking ball hits you in the back of the head. Yeah, that'll inspire fans to come out to the ol' ballpark. And we love the depictions of Rose, Morgan, Bench, Perez and Concepcion — they're all the same height and all the same color. Ah, revisionist history!

        3. The WNBA draft. Too bad it was over before we thought to flip on the tube. Did Melanie Kiper have the top picks right in the mock draft?

        4. He who sits and watches all 17 hours of the NFL draft. Take your Kiper starter kit back to Wal-Mart, and then go get a life.

        5. Chief Meteorologist Marty Brennaman. Nobody loves the man more than we do, but wow, that guy's worried about the weather! You'd have thought Friday's game in Chicago was played at the Arctic Circle. In fact, it was a bone-chilling 55 degrees.

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