Elliott Ruther has had it up to here with hiding in the closet. He's coming out, and not quietly.

        “I'm talking about the mental illness closet. It's the last major stigma out there. I figure by coming out, by being more forward and open about my problem, I can help other people feel more comfortable with theirs.”

Elliott Ruther talks about his depression. (Michael E. Keating photo) | ZOOM |

        His “coming out” is taking a lot of forms: A benefit Wednesday to draw attention to mental health issues in general and Issue 5 (Hamilton County's mental health levy) specifically. A CD, due in a few months, of music he wrote and sang, all about mental illness. An increase in public activism.

        Mr. Ruther, recently diagnosed as bipolar after being treated for four years for depression, is an aide to his best friend from high school, Cincinnati Councilman John Cranley. He's 28, single (“shopping, but not enough because there's no time”), lives in East Walnut Hills and dedicates every spare minute to writing music.

        The 1997 Saint Louis University grad with degrees in theology and psychology worked for his alma mater before taking a teaching job in Kansas City.

        “I was teaching religion and seeing a psychiatrist who was treating me for depression. But it got worse. There were school absences, then a leave of absence.

        “I went back to school after that leave and had an incredible couple of weeks teaching. The hyper pattern. Then I crashed so badly I resigned and came home. I was devastated. Didn't get out of bed for weeks.”
       

Ran Cranley campaign

        One of the things that helped him climb out of bed “was my Catholic faith. I spent a lot of time studying St. Therese Lisoux and St. Ignatius. I think my religion is also what's making me want to come out publicly as a way of helping others.”

        When he finally did climb out of the low, he took a job at Blockbuster Video and started writing music a lot when he wasn't going to support groups or exploring theology programs at grad schools. That's when Mr Cranley, a Democratic candidate for Congress, asked him to sign on as his campaign manager.

        “John and I have been friends since St. X. His call motivated me. I got excited because I know what an excellent, committed person he is,” Mr. Ruther says.

        “At first it was just me, running the campaign from a cell phone. I threw myself into it totally, making myself completely available to the campaign. It was a good time for me until after the campaign when I crashed into a deep funk.

        “And not because we lost. We felt we won because we did better than expected. It's that the whole time, I never looked at the future. And here it was the future and I was lost.”

Five months, no work

        That was November of 2000 and he wasn't able to work again until April of 2001. He rejoined the Cranley team and has been at City Hall ever since, still experiencing highs and lows but having many more good days than bad.

        “Even now, there are days when I feel like I can't get out of bed because of depression. When that happens, I take a sick day and always feel awful about it, but that's the only way I can work through it. You know, every time you hit a low, it seems so much worse than the last one.”

        One way he copes is writing music. A guitarist, songwriter and vocalist since high school, he has a whole body of work that revolves around mental health issues.

        “It's difficult, intense music, left very raw. Given the content and the presentation, it can be overwhelming because it's about things most people don't want to talk about.”

        There are about 200 test pressings of the CD floating around, 100 here and 100 distributed last summer at a National Manic Depressive Association meeting in Cleveland.
       

Encouraged by feedback

        “The response has been encouraging. People I haven't heard from in months are e-mailing me. The national association has asked a couple of times when it would be out and what can they do.”

        The music's goal, he says, is to get people to loosen up about mental illness because when they loosen up, they talk about it. When they talk, they feel less stigmatized and more empowered.

        “People don't talk about it because of the stigma. But I've found that when I bring it up and I'm frank and open about myself, they open up too. About themselves or a sibling, maybe their children.

        “People talk about mental illness all the time as it relates to homelessness, but no one talks about the higher functioning mentally ill — the business executive, the lawyer, the minister, people who have it but never go public. The stigma again.

        “Given the success of the gay rights movement at breaking down that stigma, I think it's time for mental health to start attacking it — to become the next civil rights movement. The more awareness there is, and the more the public understands that it can touch anyone, even the high functioning, the less stigma there'll be.”
       

Shed the shame

        The root of the stigma, Mr. Ruther says, is people blame themselves, thinking it's something they did wrong or something they should control but don't.

        But his findings are that genetics and biochemistry, two things beyond personal control, team up to form a predisposition. Then, something in life happens to bring it out.

        “It's not something to be ashamed of. It's just another form of illness and something to deal with.”

        He'll be dealing with it Wednesday, singing his songs in public for the first time. Other bands performing that night are Ryan Adcock, Clabbergirl, Crazy Chester and the Stapletons.

        “The bands have been incredible. If they hadn't been so enthusiastic and signed up so quickly, none of this would be happening.”

        Elliott Ruther's Rock the Vote for Mental Health is 7-11 p.m. Wednesday at Jefferson Hall, 1150 Main St., Over-the-Rhine. It's free, donations accepted. Volunteer opportunities in mental health areas also will be presented.
       

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