Ryan Darbonne, 14, is a survivor of bullying who now sticks up for other kids.

        This year, he ran after a boy who had snatched another student's candy cane and sauntered off with it.

Ryan Darbonne works to stop bullies with the support of his family (from left) sister Lindsay, 17, brother Kyle, 11 and parents Robin and Wayne. (Jeff Swinger photo) | ZOOM |

        “I told him, "Hey, that's not really a mature thing to do,' ” says Ryan, who attends Sycamore Junior High School.

        “Yeah, OK,” the boy said, looking sheepish.

        Exchanges like these are crucial to bully prevention in schools, some observers say. If bullies are to be stopped, other students must stand up.

        The Darbonne family is doing its part.

        Wayne Darbonne is a pastor at College Hill Presbyterian Church. The rest of the family is mom, Robin, and kids Kyle, 11, and Lindsay, 16.

        Ryan was in fifth grade when the family moved to Symmes Township. Sensitive and small for his age, he quickly became a target for bullies. His parents helped him see the bigger picture — that bullies have their own problems and “need to be loved and encouraged and given examples of what healthy behavior should be,” Robin Darbonne says.

        She and her husband told administrators at E.H. Greene Intermediate School — which was just then launching a bully-prevention program — that Ryan needed encouragement. As a result, the principal took him aside and told him he was a “good citizen,” which helped a lot.

        Together, the family brainstormed ways Ryan could respond to bullies. In an especially bad incident, a girl at Sycamore Junior ripped the wooden cross off his neck and threw it on the ground. Then another student stomped on it.

        “I decided the best thing to do was just to calmly go pick it up and show I wasn't intimidated,” Ryan says.

        At home later, his mom let him express his sorrow. That was better than trying to minimize the incident, she says.

        On another occasion, Mrs. Darbonne discreetly talked to one of Ryan's harassers when he came trick-or-treating on Halloween. Calling the boy by name, she said she'd heard he and Ryan weren't getting along on the bus. Had Ryan done something to upset him?

        The boy looked startled. He and Ryan became friends after that, and he still mentions the time Ryan's mom asked those questions.

        Being nice is a Darbonne family tradition. It was only natural that Ryan and his brother, Kyle, would go on to help other kids.

        Kyle attends Greene School. After an assembly on bullying, he was approached by Bridget Handkins, 11, and her friends. The girls were worried about a student in a wheelchair who always ate lunch alone. Would Kyle keep him company?

        Kyle said yes and got all his friends to switch tables.

        “We've known him since he was in second grade, and that's just the way he is,” says Bridget's mom, Debbie Handkins. “His family has ingrained that in him.”

        Kyle and his pals eventually went back to their usual spot in the cafeteria, but Kyle figures they did some good.

        “Now he has a few people at his table,” he says of the other boy. “Maybe some people saw us and thought, "I can do that.' ”

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