Sunday, June 02, 2002

Advice for Class of '02

        Nobody takes advice, least of all people who give it. People who give advice are officious, patronizing, self-righteous and unpleasant. When you ask them, “What makes you so smart?” they have no idea.

        That said, here are some “suggestions” for the Class of 2002 — ignore them and you will be miserable every single day of your life.

        • Don't fly when you can drive.

        • Don't drive when you can walk.

        • Take the long way.

        • Don't smoke 'em. Even if you got 'em.

        • Hum.

        • Find something you love to do and you'll never be alone. Even when you are.

        • The trick of life is keeping the passion once you've gained the wisdom.

        • The longer you live, the shorter the days are.

        • Most of the time, nobody cares.

        • If you want a convertible, get one.

        • Traffic is only bad when you're in a hurry. Learn that and you'll laugh more.

        • From my friend Steve Forbert: It is what it is — and that's all.

        • Never change clubs when you're ready to hit.

        • Think about your future. But also dwell on the moment, which is often pretty good. Also, guaranteed.

        • Don't buy groceries when you're hungry.

        • Call your mother.

        • Let it go.

        • From the movie Risky Business: Every so often, say what the (heck). What the heck gives you freedom. Freedom gives you opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

        • Just don't drown the Porsche in Lake Michigan.

        • Call back.

        • Forbert, again: Life is strange, but compared to what?

        • Tell those you love that you do.

        • Regret is useless, hope is priceless. Ambition is somewhere in between.

        • Helping someone who needs it is the best way to feel good about yourself.

        • Shrinks got into the business to figure themselves out. Think about it.

        • Never buy the extended warranty.

        • Don't get Call Waiting. It's rude.

        • Listening is better than talking, unless you think you're especially interesting. You probably aren't.

        • Grudges hurt your heart.

        • Listen to the old people, who have earned it.

        • Carly Simon said these are the good old days. They are.

        • Life is better when you notice it.

        • Turn off the air conditioner and open the windows.

        • Converse.

        • Lots of time, you have nowhere to go. So, don't.

        • Have a front porch.

        • “Whatever” is an expression. Not a lifestyle.

        • Don't super-size.

        • Finally, here's something my dad says. He read it somewhere: “All of us want to do well. If we do not do good, doing well will never be enough.”

        I believe that to be true.

        Do good. Then do well.



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