Saturday, June 15, 2002
Life change
Singlehood was fun, but....
Years ago, I met a woman eager to talk about her daughter's wedding. The bride was 35, and as she walked down the aisle, she had mouthed, I'm finally doing it, Mom!
How sweet, I thought to my confident, 24-year-old self. But who waits that long to get married?
Yes, well ... I never said I was a wise 24-year-old.
I now think 35 is the perfect age for marriage, because it was mine when I walked down the aisle last weekend.
I finally did it, Mom!
The Club
Of course my good fortune would come just as single womanhood was getting cool. Bridget Jones, Carrie Bradshaw, Ally McBeal all have played singlehood as an endearing farce in which women, while sometimes down, are never out of great clothes, good friends, clever lines or at least a comfortable pair of pajamas.
I loved that world. In homage to single women everywhere, here are the Five Things I Will Miss the Most About the Club:
1. The ritual eating of ice cream for mental health. This is best done straight from the carton, late at night in the parking lot of a grocery store. Girlfriends required. Utensils optional.
2. The what-will-I-wear frenzy, in which clothes become the proxy for possibility. In the right outfit, anything can happen. Plus, it's fun to leave a bread-crumb trail of shirts and shoes from the closet to the front door. Clothes are the only pretty things that can be safely thrown around.
3. Freedom to come home whenever, hog all sections of the newspaper, get dirty in the garden, eat cereal for dinner, fall asleep on the couch after late-night TV. Freedom to be in a bad mood. Freedom to flirt.
4. The camaraderie of single friends. Like family, we vacationed together, supported each other's causes and brought each other homemade soup. One Saturday morning, a panicked pal called three of us for help her dog had run off just as she was leaving for work. We hurried over, searched the neighborhood and herded Rascal home.
5. The sense of confidence that comes from waiting for the right man.
Hugs every morning
Singlehood is paradoxical, though. Even as I enjoyed it, I was constantly dreaming up strategies to escape it.
During my get-out-and-have-fun phase, I joined a pool league, which led to my playing pool one night at a bar in Clifton. There I overheard a man, who turned out to be a professor, speaking Spanish with a companion. When I introduced myself as an aspiring Spanish speaker, I handed him the perfect line.
Maybe I can help you, he said.
Que bueno. A year and a half later, this laughing, big-hearted Spaniard has become my husband.
Top Five Things I'm Looking Forward to About Being Married:
1. Hugs every morning and night, like bookends to the day.
2. Teamwork in everything from throwing parties to getting over a cold.
3. My husband's uncanny ability to remember where I put my keys, purse and that glass of orange juice I was just drinking.
4. Cooking for two.
5. The sense of confidence that comes from having waited for the right man.
Contact: (859) 578-5584 or email: ksamples@enquirer.com.
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